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5/15/2006 8:50:49 PM

Copyright by Dr. Richard D. Dobins @ Akron, Ohio;


There are many characteristics difficult people may
have that can make them difficult to live with.
However, there is one characteristic they all share:
They are all unhappy people. The best thing you can do
for them is to maintain your own happiness.

There are different kinds of unhappy spouses. We want
to look at five:

1. The angry spouse. Basically, an angry person is
afraid of intimacy. Rejection, betrayal, and even
abandonment are common in the history of angry people.
So, anger becomes a way of assuming power over other
people and avoiding intimacy. You cannot successfully
live with an angry person by confronting him or her.
The Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath
(see Proverbs 15:1). So when the angry spouse is
accessible to you, tell him how much you love him, but
how fearful you are of his anger.

2. The dependent spouse. As long as you continue to do
things for the dependent spouse, he will let you. You
must gradually wean him from his dependency by failing
to do for him what he has learned to expect you to do.
As he becomes more responsible, let him know how much
easier it is for you to love him because he is much
less of a burden to you.

3. The depressed spouse. A depressed spouse becomes a
difficult problem. Usually the spouse who is not
depressed expends considerable effort to cheer him or
her up and grows very weary and impatient in the
process. If he needs biblical counseling, encourage
him to talk to his pastor. If he needs additional
help, contact his personal physician.

4. The flirtatious spouse. A flirtatious spouse often
leaves his or her mate feeling inadequate. As a woman,
you know it is nice to be flattered once in a while,
and most men like to feel that they are attractive to
women. The flirt caters to these needs.

5. The miserly spouse. Either spouse may be afflicted
with this behavior. Negotiating an agreed upon amount
that each spouse has to spend is often a successful
solution to this kind of financial bondage.



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