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Umap-apaw nga Ipacan iti Padaya ti Filipino
3/27/2007 12:54:35 AM

Naminsan a naawis ti anacco iti panagcasar ti maysa a ca-clasena a babai (of Irish roots) iti high school. Tengnga ti malem idi sumangpet a naggapu iti wedding reception nga impaay ti nagannac ti bride ngem nasiputac ti anacco a nagturong a dagus iti refrigerator mi ket nagsapul iti masaramsamna.

"Comusta ngay ti padaya?" inimtuodco.

"Umuna unay," insungbat ti anacco, "saan a Filipino party. Maicadua, nadlawco ti kinakirmet dagiti Irish iti naidiaya a macan iti reception."

Naipasngay ti anacco diay Brooklyn, New York. Iti panangicuycuyogmi kencuana manipud idi ubing pay daytoy cadagiti parties--masansan a wedding ken birthday parties--nga impaay dagiti gagayyem mi a Filipino, nadlaw ti annacco ti kinabuslon ti canen nga ipaay cadagiti parties dagiti Filipino--nabacnang man wenno saan--no maidasig iti ipamacan cadagiti parties dagiti Americano a gagayyemna.

"Saan a pacadanagan ti mabisinan," innayon ti anacco, "no mapan makidaya cadagiti Filipino. No dadduma, adda pay mabungon a sobsobra a canen nga ipabalon da kenca no mauraymo ti pannacaleppas a mangan ti amin a visita."

Apay a castoy ti ugali tayo a Filipino? Sobra ti panagsacbay tayo a di mapabainan wenno pagchi-chismisan no agcurang ti maipaay a macan iti padaya. Malacsid no maiccat ti ugali tayo nga agitugot iti saan nga invitado a gayyem/gagayyem iti padaya, malacsid no surotentay ti RSVP, agpayso nga adda met rigatna ti panangpattapatta iti tumutop nga ipaay a canen cadagiti padaya tayo.

Ngem no dadduma met ngamin ket umapay sa met diay tarigagay tayo nga agpasindayag... uray no dadduma ket medio nacamtud diay gastuen...

Aniat' rumbeng nga aramiden?



Comments



VF
3/27/2007 6:48:45 AM

HAK HAK HAK!

Naal-alamon kabsat! Ngem gurayka ta pangdarasan daytoy ta agalasingkon ket siak to man lang ti mabati ditoy trabahokon!

Inayonmo daytoy dita listaam kabsat: Ugali pay ti Pinoy ti mangpunno diay pingganna aginga nga awan paglandingan ti ngilaw, pati sinam-it, ilaokda diay pinakbet.

Ti dakesna ket ibellengda met diay guduana!

har har har! Agsubliakto no makasangpetak diay balay!




Zeny Padre
3/27/2007 11:51:39 AM

VF: Agpayso dayta cunam maipapan iti ugali ti caaduan a Filipino ti panangpunnoda iti pingganda no mapanda makipangan iti ruar ti balayda. Saan la nga iti pannakipanganda iti balay ti sabali a Filipino no di ket uray sadino, agraman ti buffet iti casino. No macakitaca iti pinggan nga adu ti nabati a saan a kinnan a piduten dagiti busboys, maminsiam iti sangapulo a mapugtuam a Filipino ti akinpinggan iti daydiay. Mabalin a daytoy pay ti gapuna a yad-adu ni Filipino ti isaganana a macan no agpa-party--casla waste allowance! Numona met ngarud ta malagipco tay cunada a basol ken ni Apo Dios ti panangibelleng iti macan, ti panangsayang iti gracia...

Ngem no maysa-maysa a bayadan iti bucod a cuarta ni Filipino ti macan, masansan nga ibusenna met a canen amin, apay ngata?





VF
3/28/2007 11:34:16 PM

Ops, naligus ti palaypalayko isu a diak nakasubli.

YUP... nakababain a talaga, saan a pananguyaw kadagiti kadaraan ngem no la koma masurotan tayo met (hmmm saan nga agtutulad ha) a kuykoyen diay labay tayo, kas diay pinangipunas ni 'puraw' diay breadna to the last drop of the sauce in his plate, ala ket adu koma ti mairaman kadagidiay Naibelleng!

Ti rigatna ket we seem to perceive that 'leaving a morsel in our plate' is proper. Tell me Zeny, where did we get this kind of propriety(?)?

Hehehehe... saan nga Espaniol dayta seniora!

Most often, some hosts in my entourage ask me to sit in the head table to help them host their party when they have ‘white’ guests. I don’t know if it is my French, my mouth or my table manners... hehehehe. Whatever, but I find nothing wrong to act proper and play their games –since we are guests in a host country.

Ti rigatna, kadagidiay informal ken garden parties, adu pay laeng dagitay bumanurbor ti panangigopda tay sopas, worse, umisboda idiay igid ti alad no medio mapalaluanda ti uminom tay libre nga arak!

Ammok a saan amin a Pilipino ket kastoy ti ugalina just as the fact that not all Occidentals are perfect but I wish there are others who will comment on this topic. I find that table propriety is essential to live in a refined society.




Zeny Padre
3/30/2007 11:05:11 PM

Well when you mentioned the French this reminds me of the incident somewhere in Canada not too long ago where that young Filipino school kid was insulted by whoever was monitoring the school lunch because the poor Filipino used both his spoon and fork to eat his food. I know that thing about "When you are in Rome, do as the Romans do", but I suppose the punishment was kind of severe for the dinner faux pas. I thought a little cultural sensitivity should have prevailed over the matter.

Ngem ania ngarud ket adu latta met pagano uray pay no educado. Tay caanacac a sirujano ken abogado ket uray la ket pigsa diay panagtig-abnan no malpas a mangan! Ken adda pay dagitay agsanapsap a nacalucat diay ngiwat da nga aggalgal iti canenda...

You're absolutely right about learning some basic dinner etiquette as essential in a civilized society. I think this should be a compulsory requirement for social studies the first week in Grade I!

Like it should be a part of the hygienic dinner training of Westerners to not simply slap their bread/sandwich on top of a bare picnic/dining table, oftentimes without even wiping it first. Either that or they consider this as something to toughen their immune systems!







VF
4/1/2007 10:32:52 AM

“The Cutlery Incident”: I was in the Philippines at that time when I saw that article and was really furious. I pointed the matter to a very prominent political contact (a senator) as I was in the middle of an OFW-interests-discussion at that time. Pity, the agenda was killed. Reason: classified.

Assumption... commoner vs politics = Political Gains (?) Are you ready for this Zeny? If you are, I’m not (anymore). Nabannogakon kabsat. Ken addan ti isagsaganaak.

HAK HAK HAK! A surgeon and a lawyer nga agsanapsap! I wonder if it is heredity or the environment. But until Filipinos believe that a bloated stomach girth is the measure of wealth, bay-am man kabsat! Kitaem ket kaaduan dagidiay dadakkel ti tianna ket ...

HAR HAR HAR!

I would say that basic table etiquette is like personal hygiene. There should be a minimum of “courtoisie” on the table and cleanliness to stay healthy. Ti kinaagpaysona ket adu met kadagiti puraw a mangmangan a kasla baboy. Ngem ketdi ket awan ti sayangenda. Ti saanko pay laeng a nakita kadagiti puraw ket ti umisbo diay inaladan no nabartekda.

That bread? Aw, I do that too hek hek hek! Uray no matinnag diay karuotan! Sayang, sika met –basta awan pay maysa a minuto ... pay dimo malagipen idi ubbing pay ti tao no matinnag diay Kendi-Vicks?

isem.....




Zeny Padre
4/5/2007 4:54:01 PM

As for the usual overpreparation on the quantity of food for a Filipino party, I believe it's time to examine the benefits of RSVP, not just for formal occasions. As to the bad habit of putting too much food on one's plate--more than one can eat--with the excess being trashed and wasted unless one is raising livestock that can use the waste, I think that issue should also be addressed right in first grade. In fact, the church should raise the issue into the consciousness of parents who should teach their kids right at home, relating it to the "it's a sin to waste the grace of God" or something like that. Parents should be held responsible to teach their children some common-sense, appropriate table manners so that the parents themselves are forced to become aware of these and set an example for their children.

I just think westerners are more acutely aware of the issue here than Filipinos.

If you accidentally drop your food and try to retrieve it as fast as you possibly can, that's a different story compared to when one intentionally slaps his food like on a picnic table that one doesn't even bother to wipe clean, say in one of those rest areas along the freeway.




Zeny Padre
4/5/2007 5:00:57 PM

As for the usual overpreparation on the quantity of food for a Filipino party, I believe it's time to examine the benefits of RSVP, not just for formal occasions.

As for the bad habit of putting too much food on one's plate--more than one can eat--with the excess being trashed and wasted unless one is raising livestock that can use the waste, I think that issue should be addressed right in first grade, if it hasn't been addressed right at home. In fact, the church should raise the issue into the consciousness of parents who should teach their kids right home, relating it to the "it's a sin to waste the grace of God" or something like that. Parents should be held responsible to teach their children some common-sense, appropriate table manners so that they themselves are forced to become aware of these and set an example for their children.

I just think westerners are more acutely aware of the issue here than Filipinos.

If you accidentally drop your food and try to retrieve it as fast as you possibly can, assuming the food didn't drop on something where a host of flies have congregated for dinner, that's a different story compared to when one intentionally slaps his food like on a picnic table that one doesn't even bother to wipe clean, say in one of those rest areas along the freeway... I know we have to toughen our immune systems, but do we have to do it that way?





Anonymous
4/23/2007 9:32:33 AM

Apo ket no casta la coma a nalaca a piduten tay isacmol la ngaruden a matippay pay laeng...



Kane
5/11/2007 12:41:47 AM

Umayak man met appo makisagpao. No adda man kadakayo ti makaited ti kopya
kadagiti umno nga aramiden iti lamisaan wenno pannangan. Dagiti ugali tayo nga Pilipino ken ugali dagiti taga laud. (America) No adda makitatayo ket pagsasaritaantyo no asinno ti nasysayaat nga rebbengna a suroten.
No dadduma adda met dagiti ugalida nga diak koma maawat nga aramida ditoy America no amabalin. Ditoy ,kastay kunayo nga panagtigab,kasla mapilao ditoy.Ngem ti riknak, kaykayatko a mangeg tay dakkel a tigab,ngem tay agpangres nga madama ti kaan.




Zeny Padre
5/12/2007 5:55:26 AM

At Manners International, Table Manner Tip #201 Q&A is as follows:

Q. Should you dismiss yourself from the table if you need to sneeze or blow your nose?

A. Yes, excuse yourself from the table, and at no time should you use your napkin as a handkerchief.




Kane
5/13/2007 12:07:22 AM

Daytay ugali nga umottot nga madama ti kaan.
Mabalin ti mangibulos no maymaysaka a mangmangan. Uray ket agappo kenka a mismo. Saan kadi?
Pilipino adu nga agpayso ti saganada kadagiti paskenda ,no idilig kadagiti tagalaud. Ngem adda met dagiti nakapanak nga pasken.Adda dagiti ugali ti dadduma nga isakemda ti iyawidda no kasdiay nga mapanda mangala ti kanenda.Kunada nga balunenda kano no bigat no mapanda agtrabahu.Dagitay maudodi awanen ti maramananda...Nasayaat koma no urayenda iti pannakalpas amin nga sangaili sada agala manen ti iyawidda.





VF
5/13/2007 10:34:37 AM

Bon Fête de Maman Ms. Zeny!

Kumusta kabsat, ‘dika kadi agawid diay Badoc a mapan agbutos? Dagitay sa man met la’ng kakabagianen ti makaad-ado!

Huuu... Adu man ti dumakkel ti boksitnan –kangrunaan dagitay balimbing, ’niat makunam kabsat?




VF
5/13/2007 10:52:19 AM

Hehehehe...

Mr. Kane, please read Kane & Abel by Jeff Archer (?) ... from rags to riches, from perseverance to success, from rural Poland to the delicatesse of WallStreet! (if my memory serves me right. I read that book two decades ago!)

If you get the gist of the story well, you'll find that there's nothing wrong in living a fine and refined living. And you don't need all the richess of the NYSE to to be refined!

Diay uttot? Well, since there is no 'Kasilias' for Uttots... hehehe, you may do it, but discreetly, please!

Aw! You don't need Ms. Zeny's 'Manners International'. Just be your own natural self or better apply whatever you learned from your grandma. It will work perfectly well.

Just be carefull with the Porky side!

Ammomon no ania dagidiay...




Zeny Padre
5/13/2007 11:56:24 PM

The two candidates for mayor in Badoc are too close to my family: the incumbent mayor is the son of those my late mother took in as relatives; in fact, the mayor's mother still lives in the old house where we lived--the one from across the Juan Luna Memorial Academy. The vice-mayor who is running to oppose the incumbent mayor is a blood relative. As far as I know, my relatives who now reside here in the U.S. and I are sitting this election out. We're going to just let them duke it out among themselves! [It's just tragic that the mayor's bodyguard got killed sometime last year in the crossfire between the two opposing candidates.]





Sherma Benosa
5/14/2007 3:37:27 AM

Hello Manang Zeny. Umayak man met makiad-adu, gayyem.

Kane & Abel... Read it sometime in Feb. It's a good book. Hmmm... you remember the plot quite well, Mr. P.

Ei Manang. It must be bad no kakabagian ti agbabalubal iti pulitika. I'm sure it's a wise decision not to take sides. Narigat ti maipit no kasta nga agriririda.

Table manners? I think it differs across cultures. Adda dagiti acceptable iti maysa a culture a no-no iti sabsabali pay a kultura. I think when dining with people from other cultures, it's a good idea to have a background of their do's and don'ts, and to try to practice them (if it's not too difficult for you), kas panangipakita iti respeto kadakuada.

Personally, I hate it no aguttot, agsanapsap, agarub-ob, agsigarilio, wenno agistoria iti naka-arariek ti kasangok a mangan.

Ngem idiay balay, awan unay adu a "bawal" mi (basta wag lang agsao while nakapapel). Dinner is among the happiest part of the day no addakami amin because it is always filled with laughter. Ugalimi ti agsisinnutil a sangapamilia ket agsasanga ti tungtunganmi no kua. Dinner usually takes two hours — sometimes more.

I know that in other families, talking while eating is a no-no.




Zeny Padre
5/14/2007 8:45:07 AM

Hi, Sherma, Adingco,

Yamanec ta dimmaw-asca met, Cabsat.

Iti panagcunac ket no usaren ti sentido comon, nalabit maliclicantay met dagiti sumagmamano a di rumbeng nga aramiden cabayatan ti pannangan, nangnangruna no iti public setting, ken ad-adda pay a liclican iti formal dinner.

Ngamin ta mabalin a saan met a damdamo a napasamac ti aramid a rumbeng a liclican. Ket no adda nakem ti maysa a tao, uray man no adda nagcatawa iti inararamid wenno "accident" [cas uttot] a saan nga umno iti civilisado a taripnong, mabalin adda met dagitay "nacadlaw" a tumaliaw a casla cumilaw nga uray awan isawangda ket maaninagmo met a dida cumanonong iti naaramid. Cayatna a sawen a no mabalin, saan nga uliten ti inaramid.

We have come a long way from when we used to have homogenous gatherings culture-wise. Nowadays, it's safe to assume there's someone in the crowd who grew up with a different set of table manners. It's a good thing to observe some mutual respect in this world of cultural diversity. Like I would love to rip the head off that French Canadian who, way back, insulted and probably traumatized a young Filipino school kid for using his spoon!

I admire your family's tradition of taking those long dinners. They're about the only time when you get those intimate family moments to commune and bond even more. That's why we Filipinos have closer-knit families compared to those from the West which propelled the "fast-food" restaurant syndrome.

Ala uray no tuyo laeng ti pamigatmi no dadduma ket pangwatiwaten met diay panangkisikisi iti tuyo a maisawsaw iti suca wenno calamansi. Ket no gulpien a tilmonen, di met ma-enjoy a nanamen diay tuyo, Cabsat. Isu a dicami agdardaras a mangan, nangruna no bigat ti Sabado wenno Domingo...




Sherma Benosa
5/14/2007 7:48:28 PM

Hello Manang. Thanks for the warm welcome. Hmmm... makapangpanganak met la nagrud iti tuyo. He he he.

I agree kadagita inkur-itmo. Common sense and mutual respect are the key words. :-)

Have a nice day, folks...






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