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Wet dreams (5th palkat)


Wet Dreams (5th Palkat)

Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem

Note: Title is really ‘Sweet Dreams’ as explained in 2nd Palkat.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during my trials and tribulations, the names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental and unintended, peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.

I am Thou, Thou art I…I come…I am the original god
-Izanagi-No-Okami, Persona 4

Ako daw Siya…Sino Ka ba Yo
-Karm, writing as First Person singular No-double No-multiple persona No-AlterEgo

Christine could only giggle at Karm’s choice of excerpts each time he starts a new chapter. Like the aforementioned excerpt in a chapter in

KarmaSutra XXX, How to Clean Your Condom after Each Use

where he tried to refute the fake news of him being the ‘new boyfriend’ in Mayora Annette’s life:

Ako daw siya?

Who the Who?

How can I be the new boyfriend when I am already twice married to my one and only Rosario. I am not Omnipresent, I cannot be in two or many places at the same time, and I am not an original god. It’s not as if I kept Mayora Annette in a secret prison cell in Manila when she disappeared like a smoke, idi nagpukaw isuna a kasla asuk.

Christine sighed when she noticed the resubmitted draft of the first submission that Karm had sent along with the instructional video, he didn’t make the changes that Christine had suggested. At the left margin of the beginning of Chapter 1, Christine wrote ‘Being a clean freak, Rosario my wife couldn’t stand a dusty house…’ to improve the beginning of his story, and Christine also wrote at the left margin ‘the difficulty of earning a living’ to improve the phrase ‘how hard it is to earn a living’.

Well, Christine giggled and mused to herself, once I am finished with my Content review, let the Copy Editors deal with Karm’s nightmarish tensing grammatics.

Christine refolded the yellowish, parchment-like paper that came with the instructional video. At the left corner of the folded parchment-like paper, Christine noticed this inscription: the dead ‘C’ scroll.

She smiled and made a mental note to ask Karm whether the document was intended for her to see because she didn’t have a clue on how to interpret the codes…wait a minute, Christine mused, those codes were probably the clues.

Christine locked the envelope containing the instuctional video and the dead ‘C’ scroll in her drawer and she unlocked her tablet screen, touched the icon for KarmaSutra XXX, How to Cauterize your Bleeding Heart.

Chapter 1, continued.

Vanessa noticed the slightly open bathroom door through the misty bathroom mirrors…and a shadowy figure? Instinctively, she grabbed her hair dryer with her left hand and pointed it at the shadowy figure which seem to suddenly fade.

“Who’s there, I’m going to blow you!!!”

Realizing what she had just said, eeew, she thought, and promptly corrected herself, “ I’m going to blow-dry you!!!”

Grabbing her curling iron with her right hand, Vanessa slowly tiptoed toward the door, the unplugged cords of her hair dryer and curling iron snaking behind her. Again, like a gun, she pointed the hair dryer toward the door and she abruptly pulled the door wide open with her curling iron

“Ay-ay-ay pag-ibig…nakakabaliw…”

Christine’s heart suddenly jumped. What the? That’s Ara Mina’s song, she muttered as she looked around for the most gorgeous, most beauteous singer/model.

“Ay sobra…”

Then she noticed that her tablet’s instant messenger icon was blinking. Oooo, she giggled, ayayay, that’s my instant messenger ringtone. Her heart still pounding, she touched the instant messenger icon:

Charlie S. T.: How about lunch?

Christine typed Sure, 12noon same place

Christine and Charlie S T have been dating for the past two years. They met in Glorietta two years ago when Christine and her friends went to watch Mad Max: Fury Road. After the movie, Christine suddenly felt a warming and tingling sensation in her nape, it felt itchy. She asked one of her friends to check her nape. Christine got hives.

Suddenly, out of nowhere and holding an Imperator Furiosa poster, Charlie S T offered his Calamine Lotion to Christine. Christine wanted to decline but Charlie S T was already rubbing her nape to the delight of her friends who couldn’t stop giggling.

“Uuuuuy, because of an itch,” her friends would tease incessantly, “has Charlie S T been rubbing you elsewhere too?”

Christine would just shake her head and tease back at her friends, “juveniles.”

Charlie S T is Detective Charlie S. T. of MPD, Makati Police Department, born Charles S. Tirong in Macate, Nueva Vizcaya. He was at the Glorietta looking for the ‘Pirates of the Sinehan’, people who would ‘camcorder’ movies; tape, reproduce, and sell the copies illegally.

Christine had been at Det. Charlie’s place where she saw several Imperator Furiosa posters. Hmn, Christine thought, he must like Imperator Furiosa, fake left hand and all. Apparently, Charlie S T likes a woman who can fight to defend herself. He had shown Christine some Kung Fu moves and Christine has been practicing the moves regularly.

“Kung Fu moves or Horizontal Kung Fu moves,” her juvenile friends again teased.

Christine has been wanting to show Detective Charlie S Tirong the dead ‘C’ scroll and see if Charlie can detect, or decode the document and why it was called the dead ‘C’ scroll. Probably Det. Charlie S Tirong might have some ‘Alan Turing’ technique of decoding enigmatic codes but Christine was unsure if Karm really wanted to include the dead ‘C’ scroll with his resubmission.

Did Karm send the scroll by mistake, Christine mused. Or he forgot to remove the scroll that was mixed with his resubmission… Karm is forgetful… agkabaw?

Christine’s nape hair suddenly stood. Could it be that Karm had already written a memoir titled

KarmaSutraXXX, Memoir iti Maysa nga Agkabaw

but forgot to submit it…or probably he forgot that he wrote it.

Christine made a mental note to really call Karm tomorrow. But afraid that she’d forget, she added a reminder in her daytimer to contact Karm:

To-Do List for tomorrow:

#1 Don’t forget to call Karm.

She was just about to resume her Vanessa story review when Christine saw through the glass window spiderman hanging outside the building…no, Christine thought, probably a window cleaner…but why is he using a rope…as a rappel? Hmn, probably another shooting, yah, Christine reassured herself, there have been several shootings around Makati lately…shootings like filming movies, Christine giggled, probably another superhero movie.

Then Christine saw more masked spidermen rappeling, they are coming from the roof, Christine thought, I am here at the 44th floor, probably they are filming a movie somewhere in the lower floors.

Suddenly, she again felt her nape hair stiffened. What if this is not a movie shooting…she hasn’t finished her thought when a loud explosion rocked the floor where she’s at. It sounded like it came from the floor just below her. Christine wanted to scream but a louder explosion jolted her from her seat:


Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem ©2017

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