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AraminaTandulan, DIA
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Wet dreams (11th palkat)

07/20/2017


Wet Dreams (11th Palkat)

Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem


Note: Title is supposed to be ‘Sweet Dreams’ as explained in 2nd Palkat.


Is this a mirage
or a chance to fulfill my mission?
-Lyn Inaizumi, Rivers in the Desert


Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during my trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.


“Awuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuwou awuuuuu”

“Drago, please snipe and silence that stupid dog already!” Miss Lucy pressed her left palm harder on her left ear and lightly over her right ear so as not to push the earphone inside her eardrum. She’s at the rooftop.

“I am trying to get a good look Miss Lucy,” Drago slowly dialed the windage knob of the scope of his Dragunov SVU sniper rifle, “but that stupid cop keeps patting the head of the dog and the old man that looks like Zeus keeps hovering around them…and why the hell is he wearing a white robe in the middle of the parking lot and in this killer July heat.” Drago took a quick swig of his vodka to calm his nerves as he looked around the room for a better vantage point near the window. The window glass pane was broken during the initial assault. He’s at the 46th floor.

“Then shoot at that Zeus too Drago!” Miss Lucy barked over her microphone. “But Miss Lucy,” Drago’s voice hesitated momentarily, “Zeus looks like a very important person, I have a feeling he is their designated negotiator… and that cop, the one that has a lightsabre…” “You mean Drago, Lightsaber?” “Yes Miss Lucy, lightsaber. Man, American English is so complicated and confusing, why the hell do they call that national hockey team Buffalo Sabres instead of Sabers? Enihu, that cop with the dangling lightsaber, I overheard over their radio, they call him detective Charlie S Tirong, apparently, his gelpren is trapped in one of the rooms at the 44th floor.”

Miss Lucy was suddenly nauseous and confused. Her cynophobia, strong dislike for dogs was affecting her disposition and that could jeopardize her mission. This is my chance to fulfill that mission, Miss Lucy mumbled… this is not a mirage… why the hell men have to have dogs as their bestfriend anyway, she muttered, why can’t they just pet cats, that’s why God invented cats, Miss Lucy shook her head, they are more docile, and more cute, and sweeter, and they don’t howl.


Miss Lucy, born Svetlana Fer in Ukraine, known as The Controller, is the team leader of the hostiles. She got the ‘Lucy’ monicker from her mommy when she was still a toddler.

You have a nice blond hair docha, Miss Lucy’s mother told her while brushing her hair, your hair looks like a luminous firefly, very lucid…ahhh, I know, I’ll call you ‘Lucy’ from ‘luciferin’, that chemical compound that makes the fireflies glow. Come to think of it Lucy, you actually look like Charlize Theron, although her hair is more like…

Atomic Blonde

while your hair is more yellowish, just like the flames of the fireflies.

Who is Charlize Theron maty, Miss Lucy asked her mother. I don’t know docha, for some reason that name just suddenly crossed my mind.

Charlie S Tirong… Miss Lucy mumbled, what the… she grabbed her sniper rifle and aimed at the cop who was semi-kneeling and patting the dog’s head, the one they call Charlie S Tirong… what the, Miss Lucy again mumbled, then she focused on the detective’s dangling lightsaber, wait, that is not a lightsaber dangling from his belt… that is a retractable melee baton, it say so on the handle, melee baton S-B®, hmn, that is one shiny baton… I wonder how long is it unretracted, Miss Lucy thought.


Miss Lucy’s parents, Dr. Fer and Dr. Fer were both metallurgists. They met in BU, Budapest University where they completed their PhD in Inorganic Chemistry. They fell in love and were inseparable then, just like Lisa May and Dr Ron, or just like two U magnets.

They were inseparable until their death when I was just ten years old, proving that the line ‘til death do us part’ could be wrong sometimes, Miss Lucy muttered.

Irony of ironies really, Miss Lucy’s eyes began to well with tears, they were apparently working on extracting a rare isotope of Iron, Fe-59 which could replace Fe-55 in medical trace studies, Miss Lucy’s breathing was becoming deeper and heavier, Fe-59 has a much shorter half-life than Fe-55 so it could be much safer to use… there was an explosion and both my maty and batko perished.

What was told to Lucy was that her father was setting up his mobile AAS, Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometer to analyze the Fe-59 content of the huge magnetite rock they found in a cave. He apparently had formed an amalgam of iron and mercury using palladium as the catalyst, and upon digestion with nitric acid, her father was supposed to analyze the mercury content to determine the amount of amalgamated Fe-59. He turned on his AAS that was initially set to use acetylene gas as the fuel and air as the oxidant, the flame would be a bright blue flame. Her father needed a higher temperature to ionize the mercury so it could be detected by the spectrophotometer, he’d need nitrous oxide as the oxidant for that, where the flame would be like a wispy white, almost like an atomic blonde, Charlize Theron’s hair. When her father turned the knob to switch from air to nitrous oxide, the AAS apparently backfired as the flame somehow found its way back to the acetylene tubings when the air supply was momentarily suppressed.

Commonly, when a backfire occurs, a loud pop, or more like a PLOK, the sound when you pop the cork off a previously unopened bottle of champagne would be heard as the acetylene near the burner head would explode prior to reaching the safety valve which would prevent the flame from reaching the acetylene tank. Apparently, according to the investigators, her father forgot to install the safety valve when he was setting up his mobile AAS. When the system backfired, the acetylene hose apparently got dislodged from the burner head and became like a flamethrower, her father’s ass got singed, the impact bead of the spray chamber near the burner head flew and hit her mother’s forehead as she ran toward her father to help him extinguish the fire in his ass, and as her father embraced her mother to break her fall, the acetylene tank exploded, flew, and hit the large magnetite iron rock that rolled and pinned her embracing mother and father. They perished instantly.

They died in each other’s arms doing what they loved to do… Miss Lucy mumbled as she wiped her tears. But something didn’t make sense, she muttered, my batko, my father was not forgetful, and he was a meticulous, detail-oriented scientist… how could he have missed installing that safety valve?


Meanwhile, Detective Charlie who was in a kneeling position, his retracted Super Batuta dangling from his belt was calming the howling dog almost like a dog whisperer, “she’s not a sexy ghost,” Detective Charlie whispered in the dog’s ear, “she’s my sexy partner, Detective Preci. If you keep howling, you might scare my gelpren Christine, she believes you howl because you are seeing a ghost and not because you are hearing an intense cosmic noise audible only to you and that you howl to close your eardrums to protect them… and also, you might scare her cat that I had sent to find her, Christine is trapped inside… we don’t know her status as she is not responding to my messages… and you know, according to Dr. Ron, her cat had reached her office, the cat was carrying the radio that Detective Preci had put in the cat’s mouth, Dr Ron thought the cat was carrying a mouse because the radio does look like a mouse… and detective Preci has been calling Christine’s name, but it appears the cat is just standing still and immobile near an overturned table… and the radio is not in her mouth anymore.”


Meanwhile, Mona the pussycat started to shiver again as her hair stiffened. Christine, who was covering her ears with her palms because the howling was driving her nuts noticed that her cat Moning had turned into a porcupine. Then she could hear a muffled sound from the mouse that flew from Mona’s mouth when she sneezed:

“Christine…Christine… are you there?”

Christine realized that the mouse could be a radio sent to her by her boypren Charlie… and that voice… Christine muttered, that’s sexy Precious’ voice. Hmn, how can I retrieve that radio, she mumbled, it is submerged in water. Luckily, it appears to be waterproof.

“Don’t be afraid Mona, now, we just have to figure out how to remove the pool of water so you can walk over here and bring me that radio… too bad you can’t walk on the water surface.”


Meanwhile, Judge JC signalled to F/SI Alex and Col Ginkgo Talunasan to turn on their ears to listen. F/SI Alex looked at her uncle JC and immediately focused her EZ Peepers toward Detective Charlie and the dog, true enough, F/SI Alex mumbled, uncle JC is not there anymore... He did it again. She turned on her eardbud to ‘listen’. Likewise, Col Ginkgo and F/SI Edo turned on their ears to listen too. Doña Ana Rosalea reluctantly turned on her earpiece. Her nape had started to itch. Somehow, the hostiles’ MO, modus operandi seemed familiar.

Miss Lucy got startled when her analog celfone rang. She prefers analog cellular phones over smartphones because apparently, they can’t be hacked. Her hand shaking, she too took a quick swig of her vodka to calm her nerves. She answered with an assertive voice.

“Hello?”

“Name’s Jesus, Judge JC. I am the Designated Negotiator, I understand you are The Controller… we need to talk.”

“Holy Jesus! How did you get my number…never mind. I suppose there’s no point now hiding my true persona. Name’s Fer, Lucy Fer. You can call me Miss Lucy.”



Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem ©2017





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