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Wet dreams (18th palkat)


Wet Dreams (18th Palkat)

Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem

Note: Title is supposed to be ‘Sweet Dreams’ as explained in 2nd Palkat.

Give me a sign
I want to believe
-Panic! at the Disco, The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during my trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.

White Lie.

Contrary to a not so popular belief, a white lie is really not a lie told by a white person, e.g., a white president, that would be just fake news. Politicians don’t really lie. I know because Mayor Aramiro Nalibug Tandulan is a very honest mayor, Lara Mae Dario Garcia mumbled.

You mean, cuzin Lara Mae, F/SI Alexandria D. Dario absentmindedly asked cuzin Lara Mae one day, you mean, if a president says he had killed someone or ‘several’ someone, that president is not lying, that he is really a murderer? Presidents are leaders of nations, cuzin Alexandria, they are supposed to be role models. How can authorities enforce the law if they are breaking the law themselves? No one is above the Law.

That’s right, but sometimes when speaking of the truth, Judge Jesus C mumbled to himself, as if replying to Lara Mae’s thoughts, sometimes in extreme circumstances, the truth does not have to be revealed so as to protect the people that need protection.

Just like F/SI Edo Manzanilla, Judge JC again mumbled to himself, he committed an original sin, that’s right, he ate the proverbial forbidden fruit, but not Eve’s Big Apple, but rather, he ate some strawberries, some sweet, juicy strawberries; he was unable to fight the serpent’s test:

Serpent: Psssst, Edo, what are you waiting for, you have always dreamed of eating strawberry chocolate fondue

F/SI Edo: But not this fondue… I want my darling Preci’s fondue

Serpent: But your darling Precious won’t let you eat her strawberry fondue, would she

F/SI Edo: Because my darling Preci is a devout Catholic

Serpent: Well, Alexandria’s strawberry fondue is right in front of you, just like the chicken that pecked at the scattered rice… Preci will never know, Police Director Dewano ‘Rock” Dario will never know, this is your chance Edo, start pecking, peck-peck-peck

Judge JC shook his head, I couldn’t tell Miss Lucy Fer that the banging and the meowing she heard was F/SI Edo banging his head on the metal sheet of the ventilation duct because his conscience was bothering him, his fear of the dark is really his conscience telling him Police Director Dewano ‘Rock’ Dario might be in the dark now, but soon… he’ll learn what really happened in The Big Apple, what really happened in NYC and that the Director’s iron fist will soon meet F/SI Edo’s chin causing him to see flying stars in the dark skies. In addition, his conscience also fears Detective Preci’s pair of scissors, it is a pair probably because one is for cutting his billit ala Bobbitt and the other one is for cutting his tongue.

Judge JC wouldn’t really tell Miss Lucy Fer that F/SI Edo Manzanilla who was trying to rescue Christine had accidentally boinked his head that startled Moning the pussycat. F/SI Edo was in a noble, exemplary missionary position. Judge JC did not want to jeopardize F/SI Edo’s mission; rescuing a damsel whose life is in grave danger. Judge JC did not want to reveal F/SI Edo’s position that could reveal Christine’s location.

Location that F/SI Edo had already located.

But where is Christine? F/SI Edo mumbled, still massaging his boinked head, I have located her pussycat Moning, or MonaLisa, or Muning, but where is she?

He waved his Hi-Viz-Vest and high visibility overall earlier at MonaLisa but that only aggravated the pussycat, probably because I look like a glow-in-the-dark octopus, F/SI Edo surmised. He turned on his radio and whispered:

“Tia Sidni, I can see MonaLisa the pussycat, but I don’t see Christine.”

“Yes Edo, that’s what Abdul’s SIRPAT is also showing, only the pussycat’s and your heat signature are being detected… but there is a strange blankness, a dark spot near MonaLisa… a rectangular shape. It seems there is an invisible cloak that is cloaking that dark rectangular spot… ”

Of course, Doña Ana Rosalea mumbled to herself, the invisibility cloaking is being provided by my document… my scroll:

The Dead ‘C’ Scroll

It is protecting Christine; Doña Ana managed a faint smile. She is still alive.

“Tia Sidni, your concoction needs one more gutta, one more drop of Rosario’s glow-in-the-dark potion.”

Tia Sidni added one more drop of Rosario’s glow-in-the-dark potion to the simmering water in the large pot, stirred the water with Giancarlo Istante’s MVP baseball bat, a Mahogany-Velvet Pak-ol baseball bat, then Tia Sidni recited another orasyon:

“MonaLisum MonaLisum et tu oculum signus matamun Christinum Ummmn”

MonaLisa the pussycat suddenly had the strange urge of wanting to pee… then she noticed her master Christine waving at her, showing her the V sign:

“Don’t be afraid Muning, that glow-in-the-dark creature is not really a big spider or an octopus… it stopped moving and I can recognize that suit… It is a Hi-Viz Vest or High Visibility Vest or suit… usually worn by… a firefighter!”

“There!” Kumander Lady Ag-Ag excitedly pointed at the surface of the simmering water in Tia Sidni’s silyasi, “we can now see what Muning is seeing!”

Kalis Marco San got startled and felt a sense of confusion, why are my arms around Tita Alexandria’s neck and I am sitting on her lap, Kalis Marco San mumbled to himself. Then he remembered. His Tita Cristi and Apong Heneral Ramas had to go somewhere so his Tita Alexandria volunteered to hold his hand:

“Tiiitah A-Alexaandriah Dad-dadDario…” Kalis Marco San tried his best to enunciate the name of his new protector. “That’s right Kalis Marco San, that’s me.” F/SI Alexandria flashed her smile ala Mona Lisa the painting. Hmn, so warm and cozy, Kalis Marco San had mumbled to himself when F/SI Alexandria sat down and she let Kalis Marco San sit on her lap. Then he dozed off.

Kalis Marco San looked at his Tita Alysa G. Aguilar aka Kumander Lady Ag-Ag. With her warrior outfit, Kalis Marco San thought to himself, she is looking more like that woman we studied in UP-IB Daycare… the one that Tita Ariana had said she’d be like her one day, he was sitting on his Tita Ariana’s lap that day when she was reading her encyclopedia:

“She’s my heroine Kalis Marco S, she was brave, fearless… someday, I’ll be like Joan of Arc.”

F/SI Alexandria stood, carrying Kalis Marco San who was still stuck on her neck like a Tikka bird, and they both looked at the surface of the simmering water. They could see a hand through a desk drawer, waving, giving the V sign.

“That’s Christine’s hand!” F/SI Alexandria exclaimed, “I know because she’s wearing the bangles or bracelet that Detective Charlie had given her as an engagement bracelet…a handcuff look-alike bracelet!”

You are under arrest Christine; you have the right to say ‘YES’

Tia Sidni pointed at the water surface and swiped her index finger through the air toward the projection wall. Suddenly the image through MonaLisa’s eyes was projected on the wall. Miss Henrietta covered her mouth in amazement. Wow! She thought, that is some bangles she’s wearing… just like the rattan bracelet that Don Huan had given me as a memento of our short-lived courtship:

I am handcuffing your heart with a rattan bracelet Miss Henrietta my lab.

Detective Preci’s radio hummed followed by F/SI Alexandria’s voice, “Edo found Christine. She’s fine.”

Detective Preci’s heart sunk, her arms around Detective Charlie tightened, “Your darling Christine is alive, Charlie.” Detective Preci could feel her heart throb as if trying to penetrate her bulletproof vest… and she could hear her heartbeat too… which was becoming louder… Ha?

Meanwhile, Kalis Marco San pointed at the projection screen on the wall that suddenly showed a split screen, Christine’s waiving hand with a V on the right and an image of a flying helicopter on the left.

“Let me adjust the autofocus,” D.S. Abdul pressed some buttons on his Drone camera-control then the image on the left screen became High Definition. Now Kalis Marco San could see a woman standing near the window of the flying helicopter being piloted by Captain Angel Gabriel… a déjà vu?

“Holy Mother of God! That’s the Holy Mother Mary!” F/SI Alexandria exclaimed as she made the sign of the cross.

Kalis Marco San smiled. No, he thought, that’s my Tita Ariana… holding a… scepter? Or is that the… hilt of a retracted lightsaber? Kalis Marco San scratched his head.

Tita Ariana is the real Last Jedi?

Aramina P Tandulan, DIA, DJ, Esq, LLB, BSChem ©2017

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