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Kara kruz: sins of desire (2nd palkat)


Kara Kruz: Sins of Desire (2nd palkat)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.

Don’t fall for a Pop Star
-Don Huan de Markus, Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom*

(*unpublished and unwritten)

Part V, Da Formula 5

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little offensive.

(apparently, I have to keep it non-erotic, non-explicit, and non-wet dreamy, tita Judge Aramina can only hope)

Just like that song that apong Don Huan kept humming

what goes up
must come down
spinning wheel

life apparently is like a ferris wheel, a tsubibo. Some days, the stock market like the Dow Jones would drop by 1200 points. Same day, apong Don Huan’s blood pressure rose to its highest peak:

My investment…OMG!

And tita Doña Ana Rosalea almost died with laughter while cleaning her M60 (as if she was preparing for an impending ku-dey-tah…ha?):

Stop being a drama queen Kordapioh, you only have one investment.

And apong Don Huan apparently had his 100 shares of Nortel stock framed, his only investment, hoping it will gain its original value…someday.

The forever hopeful. That’s Apong Don Huan. “As long as you are breathing”, he plans to write in his unpublished book Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom, “there is always hope.”

Unbridled? I wanted to know the meaning of that word so I looked around the daycare room at UP-IB while sitting on my stroller one day, I was looking for the Unabridged Oxford Dictionary.

I saw the ‘The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire’ book. Hmn, not the unabridged dictionary I was looking for, I muttered. Then beside it I saw the ‘Rise and Fall of the British Empire’, then the ‘Rise and Fall of the American Stock Market’ and next on the bookshelf was the ‘Rise and Fall of the Ottoman Empire’.

Then in the corner of my right eye I saw this little boy climbing the ottoman chair. He had his bib at his back like a cape…Hmn, a wannabe little Superman I thought, he thinks he can fly. I think he is trying to impress the little blond girl, I thought. Hmn, I muttered to myself, there is only one real Kal-EL here in UP-IB… me.

Nakuuu, patay kang bata ka, lagot ka, I muttered. Our teacher had already warned us not to climb that ottoman chair because we might lose our balance and fall. True enough, the stupid wannabe little Superman lost his balance and fell flat on his butt.

Well, thanks to my Filipino blood and culture where we laugh at other people’s misfortunes, I was not able to suppress my chuckles: hik-hik-hik. Then the superman wannabe pursed his lips and looked at me…uh-oh, the beginning of a whimper… what? The floor is carpeted I’m sure he was not even hurt… probably just embarrassed… OMG! I thought to myself, the superman wannabe’s eyes started to tear… OMG! He is going to cry! He is going to blame me for his misfortune!

I closed my eyes and feigned being asleep. Our teacher will not believe him if she sees me asleep, I muttered. I waited for the little superman’s wail… nothing. So I slowly opened my left eye… OMG! The little blond girl was massaging his butt… is she going to kiss his butt, I thought to myself.

Hmn, I thought to myself, probably… falling is a good tactic to catch a girl’s attention. I tried to estimate the height of my stroller… then I remembered apong Don Huan’s advice:

“But my advice to you balong, don’t fall for a Pop Star, don’t hope for anything, she’ll just break your heart and leave you in deep shit.”

(apong Don Huan’s exact words)

Hmn, probably tita Taylor Swift really broke apong Don Huan’s heart, I thought to myself. Or probably tita Selena Gomez.

But apparently, a Filipina Pop Star…tita Ara Mina?

“No balong, it happened when I was much younger.”

Aha! I thought to myself… Snooky?

Well, apong Don Huan apparently was only 5 years old when it happened. He used to admire this Pop Star pictured on the cover of his favorite Bannawag edition. He’d do that while squatting inside their kasilyas, or kubeta, or CR-comfort room, or american restroom, or canadian washroom. Apong Don Huan did not know how to read yet at that time so he would just look at the picture and fantasize being with her. Apong Don Huan never got tired adoring her, even when the pages of the Bannawag started to turn brown and the printed words started to fade and the Bannawag became noticeably thinner… ha? Apparently, someone had been using the pages for some other ‘end-user use’.

So one day, apong Don Huan was nibbling on his guava fruit while squatting inside their CR and admiring the Pop Star on the cover of his Bannawag with just a few pages left, then slowly… he dozed off.

Then he fell. Suddenly, he was in deep shit, waist-deep, with a broken arm when he tried to grab at the bamboo floor of their kasilyas or CR while falling.

(I was watching the water in our toilet bowl swirl after flushing one day in Princeton NJ, not wondering whether it would swirl clockwise or counter-clockwise in Australia, but wondering how the heck did apong Don Huan accomplish that feat of falling inside the pit… how the heck did he fit in that toilet bowl hole)

At least I only had a broken arm and not a broken heart, he shrugged while tita Doña Ana Rasalea was dying with laughter when apong Don Huan was telling the story of his puppy love. Then he opened his wallet and took out the folded Bannawag cover.

“Eeew, you have that in your wallet Kordapioh?”

Well, the picture was already faded but tita Doña Ana Rosalea could still read the name:

Pops Fernandez


Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2018

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