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Kara kruz: sins of desire (4th palkat)


Kara Kruz: Sins of Desire (4th palkat)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.

Love is… ocularly challenged

-Apong Don Huan aka Don Huan de Markus, Lover Boy in his unpublished and unwritten book Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom

Part V, Da Formula 5

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little offensive.

(apparently, I have to keep it non-erotic, non-explicit, and non-wet dreamy, tita Judge Aramina can only hope)

Tita Alexandria D. Dario wanted to yell GRANADA! but tito Edo Manzanilla immediately plugged and muffled her mouth with the palm of his left hand.

“Wait Alex, the hunchback got something in his other hand… is that a… mini-bayong… or a porte-moneda, a purse for coins?”

“Umpfff ummpf ummpff!”

“What did you say Alex?” Tita Alexandria pointed at tito Edo’s left hand. Tito Edo immediately removed his left hand from tita Alexandria’s mouth.

Tita Alexandria chuckled, “that’s a patupat Edo, a sweet ricecake dipped in molasses or molten tagapulot… and he is not holding a grenade… that’s atis, sugar apple.”

“What da…” Tito Edo seemed puzzled, then he suddenly thought of the word ‘tagapulot’, tagapulot… pulot-gata… something sweet… like what Christine and Charlie S Tirong are having in their honeymoon or pulot-gata in Havana…having a ‘taga’ or ‘gata’, reversed syllables or baliktaran like yin-yang… yin-yang in Havana, where his gelpren detective Precious’ heart is while singing and dancing like an undulating snake… in Havana… tito Edo’s heart sank, okinnana!

Then tita Alex giggled, “It appears he is going to gift those to your gelpren detective Precious, I think you have another karibal or a competitor, a suitor of your gelpren.”

“Hi-hi-hi, don’t tell me this is another fairy tale love story Kal-EL, a story about a beautiful girl and a boy with a disfigurement… and that they will live happily ever after.” Alma, her chin propped in her left palm with her left elbow resting on the table, ‘nakapannimid’ in Ilocano, playfully pointed at the laptop screen while I typed this fourth palkat.


I wanted to ask Alma where had she been or where did she come from but according to my mommy Miss Brenda, there are two rude questions that a boy must always avoid asking, questions about a girl’s age and her origin. I was not sure whether my mommy Miss Brenda just made that up but I decided not to ask Alma why she suddenly materialized and sitting beside me, kibitzing or ‘mironing’ my writing.

I know Alma was born in the neighboring province, in Capalonga, Camarines Norte and that her mother Tita Doktora Diana’s father owns a wide Hacienda. Tita Diana has a twin sister, tita Doktora Adina, both STU, San Tomas University medical school graduates. Tita Adina is married to tita Rosario’s brother, also an STU medical school graduate. Tita Adina and tita Rosario’s brother have a son.

Alma’s father was also from Capalonga. But according to my mommy Miss Brenda, well, she was telling the story to my daddy Marco San a few months ago when they thought I was fast asleep in my booster seat in our Sienna minivan… that Alma’s father is not her real father.


Ups, sorry, I digressed too much. Enihu, back to my story.

The hunchback longingly watched as tita Precious sang, danced, gyrated, and undulated like a snake. Then he shook his head and slowly put his atis and patupat back in his bay-on and slowly ambled away. Tito Edo and tita Alex looked at each other, and instinctively followed the hunchback.

“Why are we following him Alex,” tito Edo whispered, “my instinct Edo, something is telling me it might be him.” “Him what Alex? You are not making any sense.” “I don’t know Edo, I don’t know. But probably Don Huan might know.”

Apong Don Huan once told tita Alex not to worry when tita Alex started to wonder whether she’d ever meet her own prince charming because it seems those few good men around her were already taken; tito Edo with tita Precious, tito Charlie S Tirong with tita Christine, tito Giancarlo Istante with tita Henrietta, and tito Karm with tita Rosario.

(that’s right, although tito Karm was known as the ‘great philanderer’ according to my mommy Miss Brenda, tita Alexandria still thinks tito Karm belongs to the circle of few good men that could be trusted)

Because love, again, apong Don Huan plans to write in his unpublished and unwritten book Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom, love comes in many different forms, shapes, or sizes. And of course, according to Shakespeare in Merchants of Venice:

Love is Blind.

“And why do you think Don Huan might know, Alexandria?”

“Because Don Huan the Lover Boy knows a lot about love…” tita Alex giggled softly, “and about women.”

Well, being a B&G Tech, Boobs and Gynecology Technologist, apong Don Huan might really have a real insight regarding women, and according to my mommy Miss Brenda, apong Don Huan did have several imaginary gelprens.

Like tita Kim K, but tita Doña Ana Rosalea did not feel threatened when apong Don Huan started to write poems for tita Kim K:

Oh Kim
How do I want thee

Then there was tita Angge, Angelina J, still, tita Ana Rosalea did not feel tita Angge was a threat even if tita Angge had two holstered guns on her legs. Then tita Taylor S, yes, she can sing, but tita Ana Rosalea still was not worried because apong Don Huan can’t sing anyway…ha?

Then came tita Marian Rivera:

Oh Marian my lab
I too, have a Kobra
A Mustang Kobra

Tita Ana Rosalea felt threatened when she saw tita Marian R dance so she quickly proposed to marry apong Don Huan.

(I was the M.R.B., the master ring-bearer. Alma was the flower girl in their wedding)

(apparently, J Lopez was only an excuse for Tita Ana to wed apong Don Huan as mentioned in my memoir, the real reason was Tita Marian)

“OMG Alex, it seems the hunchback is going to the hills, he lives in the hills…and it feels creepy in here, let’s go back to the safety of the KMSS compound, inside the Karmanet Sarisari Store compound.”

“Don’t be a duwakang or a coward Edo, be a man. We survived New York City, we survived their nor’easter snowstorm, the blizzard.”

“There are large boulder of rocks here Alex, I heard there might be a nest of snakes here, a pugad-ahas.”

Then the hunchback entered a solitary hut near a large boulder of rock and a large alukon tree.

“O my God Alex… what if… the hunchback has a…twin… a KK…”

“A twin Edo? A KK? Possibly a Kambal-Kapre?”

“Not a Kambal-Kapre Alex, a twin-snake, a Kambal-Kobra!”

“Stop it Edo. You are watching too much teleserye, that only happens in telenovela, not here in real life.”

Tita Alex took out her SZ Peepers, her super-zoom binoculars. She could see the window opened just slightly and suddenly, a figure appeared, a figure of a veiled woman. Tita Alexandria handed her SZ Peepers to tito Edo, “look Edo, there is a woman inside the house.”

“You are right Alexandria…a beautiful woman wearing a veil, her skin appears to be so smooth and light…like a mestiza…probably the hunchback really does not have a Kambal-Kobra…but probably a twin-princess, a Kambal-Prinsesa.”

Tita Alexandria D. Dario snatched back her SZ Peepers. “That’s right Edo, she’s so beautiful…her skin is so light… probably she is inside the hut all the time. I think you are right Edo, the hunchback does not have a Kambal-Kobra, instead… the kuba… the kubbo… the hunchback has a twin-princess… a Kambal-Prinsesa, a veiled prinsesa hidden inside her hut that we call in San Andres Bukidnon a…


Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2018

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