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Kara kruz: sins of desiré (16th palkat, season finalé)


Kara Kruz: Sins of Desiré (16th palkat, Season Finalé)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.

All that I am, or hope to be
I owe it to my angel mother
-Abraham Lincoln

Please lift me, please lift me off of my heavy feet
-Olivia Millerschin, Carry Me

Part V, Da Formula 5

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae and identities of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little offensive.

(apparently, I have to keep it non-erotic, non-explicit, and non-wet dreamy, tita Judge Aramina can only hope)

“It was my mother, not my grade one titser Madam Cory,” apong Don Huan still plans to write in his still unpublished and unwritten book Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom, “it was my mother who kept reading the poem

Footprints in the Sand

…I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings
When you saw only one set of footprints
It was then when I carried you

my mother started reading that poem to me when I was probably two years old… I was actually amazed that my mother could read that english poem because she never attended kindergarden… nor elementary school.”

The young apong Don Huan had suspected that his mommy was just pretending to read the english poem. “That’s what mommys do,” apong Don Huan most likely will add to his unpublished book, “they’d do anything, even the impossible to ensure their children receive the proper care and guidance.”

(like apong Don Huan’s mother, she tried to guide the young Don Huan toward the correct road to success… road to Hawaii, that the Hawayana Tiburcia Landesa might be their ticket to a prosperous life)

(or toward the heart of the Governor’s daughter during apong Don Huan’s university years, tita Erika could be their saviour)

(or when apong Don Huan’s mother learned that tita Marian Rivera was not really particular about a man’s social and financial status as stated in 5th Palkat, she was hoping apong Don Huan would be able to arem, ligaw, court, to cajole tita Marian with his matalinhaga, sweet tongue: You are my moon, my guiding star, my saviour … from the bondage of poverty)

(that was after tita Ana Rosalea had already proposed to marry apong Don Huan)

(that tita Ana Rosalea could just laugh how apong Don Huan’s mommy tried to direct apong Don Huan’s direction and was just thankful that apong Don Huan did not turn into a Norman Bates)

(but tita Ana Rosalea would not take any chances; she’d always shower with apong Don Huan)

(just in case)

But at some point, apong Don Huan apparently had second thoughts of actually writing his unpublished and unwritten book:

Tita Doña Ana Rosalea: What’s holding you Kordapioh…what’s stopping you from starting to write your unpublished book

Apong Don Huan: What’s the point Doña, I was hoping to sell probably 10 copies in one year once published… now, ex-First Lady Michelle Obama sold 750,000 copies of her book in one day, the first day… I think people would just buy books written by famous people… she’s a former First Lady you know

Tita Doña Ana Rosalea: Don’t be ridiculous Kordapioh, you write something because you are passionate about it… you must know by now that my document, The Dead ‘C’ Scroll was read by four people only

Apong Don Huan was actually one of the four people that had read tita Doña Ana Rosalea’s document, but he never understood it. Apparently, it was beyond his comprehension. Tita Christine had read it but she too did not understand it. Tito Karm had read it but tita Doña Ana Rosalea was not sure whether he understood it. The fourth reader, tita Doña Ana Rosalea understood it and she had recognized the danger of publishing it so she kept it unpublished.

Apong Don Huan: Wait a minot Doña, I do not understand, how come you gave your document to the philandering Mark Antony for him to read

Tita Doña Ana Rosalea: Ha? Ah, eh… hi-hi-hi

Now, Miss Lucy Fer in tita Judge Aramina’s Wet Dreams was after the unpublished document. And so was the Greek Caligrapher Amon Ra Papadakis, tita Ra-Mi’s uncle.

But Miss Lucy Fer’s mommy, Dr. Desiré Fer, apparently, her name ‘Desiré’ should be spelled where the ‘e’ has some feather on top, ‘é’, to match the pronunciation ‘De-si-ray’, Dr. Desiré Fer was not really looking for tita Doña Ana’s document but she was actually looking for her daughter Lucy.


“Quite ironic,” tita Lara Mae whispered, "because Miss Lucy was looking for the the Dead ‘C’ Scroll to learn and understand why her iron metallurgists daddy and mommy Dr. Fer and Dr. Fer died when she was just ten years old…you may have to reference Judge Aramina’s Wet Dreams 11th Palkat for your few readers Kal-EL.”

Ok, I mumbled to myself.

Now the dead mother was looking for her daughter.

“So,” Alma pointed at the laptop’s screen the other day while I was typing this, “you mean to say Kal-EL, if apong Abraham Lincoln had an angel mother, Miss Lucy Fer has a fallen angel mother?”

Ha? Beri pani, I mumbled to myself.

Enihu, the dead mother is now here, looking for Miss Lucy Fer… is she a walking dead… but she was not walking like a zombie… nor biting and eating people, I mumbled to myself.

I wouldn’t really know how Dr. Desiré Fer came back to life because I couldn’t hear what the adults were whispering about; tita Lara Mae, tita Henrietta, and her waswit tito Giancarlo decided to walk toward the helicopter. I was still piggibacking like a baby baboon with tita Lara Mae, tita Henrietta was holding Alma’s and Stephanie’s hands.

Tita Henrietta thought the conversation was for adults only not to be heard by kids.

Hmn. Probably to safeguard and preserve our innocence.

But what did Dr. Desiré Fer really do… or did not do? What were her sins? And why did she mistake tita Elisa for her Ukrainian daughter Miss Lucy Fer?

Of Course, Tita Elisa’s Hungarian mother lives in Manchester. Tita Elisa’s Hungarian father died when tita Elisa was still very young… ha? Hmn.

How could Dr. Desiré Fer give birth to a Hungarian child? And how could Dr. Desiré Fer carry a Hungarian baby?

Co-incidentally, or ironically, or whichever figure of speech that may apply, it was Tita geneticist Elisa who tried to explain to me how a baby is formed inside a woman’s womb when tita Ariana became pregnant.

“Kal-EL,” she said, “I am not going to talk you about the bird and the bees, but in order for your tita Ariana to become pregnant, there are two scenarios that must happen, don’t imagine too much about the scenarios Kal-EL, in one scenario, there has to be a male donor of DNA, now this male DNA donation has to pulipol, has to get entwined with your tita Ariana’s DNA:

Hello biutipul, you must be Miss Ariana’s egg’s DNA, I am my master’s egg’s DNA…shall we dance?

So, they might do the twist ala Uma Thurman and John Travolta, or most likely an argentine tango because they have to pulipol to each other, they have to intertwine like two dancing spiral staircases.

The introduction of the male DNA Kal EL might be a natural occurrence… or an artificial insemination.”

I pretended to understand tita Elisa’s lecture by nodding my head a few times while sitting on my stroller.

“Then of course Kal-EL, the other scenario… it could also be an Immaculate Conception.”

My mommy Miss Brenda and my daddy Marco San believed it was Immaculate Conception because when tita Ariana stayed with us in Princeton, no one really slept with tita Ariana but me, especially when my mommy Miss Brenda was away doing her flight attendantship.

Tita Ariana and I actually slept together and played together inside my walk-in closet most of the time because tita Ariana was apparently hiding from the FBI.

My grandma lola Pacing did not believe it was Immaculate Conception.

Especially when we were decorating our Christmas Tree last year and my daddy Marco San was singing:

O Christmas tree O Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging

Tita Ariana: Of course you silly goose the leaves are unchanging because you have a plastic tree

And my mommy Miss Brenda was dying with laughter and my gramma Pacing was secretly looking at me… as if she was asking me if no one really slept with tita Ariana and made her pregnant… I just shrugged my shoulders.

My first guess who really made my tita Ariana pregnant was her boypren Kalil…although I have never seen her boypren Kalil… she mentioned him to me once when tita Ariana named me Kal-EL, apparently after her boypren Kalil…Hmn.

Well, we did not really do much while hiding inside my walk-in closet. Tita Ariana never mentioned anything about the bees, but she actually admired my daycare drawings that were posted on my walk-in closet wall:

Wow Kal-EL you drew all these? Nice tits! Nice bulbuls!

I drew those drawings while I was in University of Prinston Day Care, International Baccalaureate program.

Tita Ariana: Too bad Kal-EL I can’t show you my bulbul… I let it fly away, I opened the cage and let my pet bird free, birds don’t want to be imprisoned you know

Hmn, I thought to myself, Tita Ariana must have a golden heart, and she must be an extraordinary person… or probably… an Angel!

That’s right! I was convinced then that tita Ariana must be an Angel because when we went playing in the snow… when the snow was knee-deep, her knees, she actually… carried me…

But I did not see any footprints in the snow! Not even a single set! She flew! Or how do they say it in baseball…she flied!

Ha-ha-ha! Tita Ariana must have heard my thought at that time; looking back at me she said laughing:

Don’t be silly Kal-EL, you are riding a sled, I am pulling your sled, the sled was erasing my footprints!

Hmn. Good point.

“Just a few more steps Kal-EL, soon we will be inside the helicopter, you must be thirsty; we’ll have ice buko. I had a good time Kal-EL.”

Tita Lara Mae turned her head toward me and gave me a soft kiss…


On my forehead.

Hmn. I was actually feeling some kind of special attachment with tita Lara Mae…like… we really bonded. Like, bonded… glued… attached to her back. Well, she has been carrying me on her back for a while now…carrying me like a binukot… it felt like almost nine months now?

Nine months… then I started to giggle inside my head. So if she has been carrying me for nine months, then probably it’s time for her to give birth… I will be a…

Born Again



“Namaste, Kal-EL? Uuuuy, are you trying to impress tita Imr… er, tita Ra-mi?”

Alma was giggling while pointing at what I just typed.

Juvenile, I mumbled to myself.

“So, Kal-EL,” Alma suddenly looked pensive, “ you are typing this season finalé… whatever happened to tita Mari… er, the Veiled and the Beautiful Binukot… and the hunchback… and their carabao?”

the cara…OMG!

I totally forgot about the Veiled and the Beautiful!

Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2018

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