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Kalis Marco S, M.R.B
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Kara kruz: the mommy returns (6th palkat)

03/31/2019


Kara Kruz: The Mommy Returns (6th palkat)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.


Baby, I’m dancing in the dark
With you between my…
-Ed Sheeran, Perfect


Part VI, Da Formula 6

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.

(N.B., still unable to write the sequel of this never-ending story, Tita Judge Aramina again requested that I write it, because not only that she is overly encumbered with her duties as the Vice President, just like tita Kara Danvers, tita Judge Aramina has to walk away too from certain… vulnerabilities?)


Opposites attract.

It was not my UP-IB daycare titser, University of Prinston International Baccalaureate daycare titser Professor Sally but instead it was apong Don Huan de Markus who said (which he plans to write in his still unpublished and unwritten book Unbridled but Infinitesimal Wisdom):

We are all wired to meet a partner for the purpose of reproduction; to create a junior or a juniora, so that we may hand down our unique genetic codes thereby ensuring the continuity of our genetic lineage.

Proof 1: about 400,000 earthly human babies are born each day
Proof 2: the earthly human population is about 8 billion (2019 estimate)
Proof 3: fossil remains of insects like bees, and birds from apparently millions of years ago still match the genetic makeup of present day insects like bees, and birds

But it was my UP-IB daycare titser Professor Sally who once said ‘opposites attract’, i.e., if you are a magnet, an iron made to be magnetic, the negative end will attract the positive end.

But not all opposite attraction is productive, children, it could also be destructive. It could result in total annihilation. Like, a matter meeting its anti-matter, like the negatively charged electron colliding with the positively charged electron called positron. The collision will not create a baby electron or a baby positron, but instead, they will just…poof, disappear. That’s right children, they will just cancel each other.

So remember children, 1 + 1 is not always equals 2; it may be zero like the colliding electrons, or it may be 3 if the union generates a baby, 4 if two babies, 5 if three children and so on. Or, it may be really a constant 2, constantly 2, probably the woman is not able to bear a child, or the man may be incapable of making the woman pregnant. Or, children, it is constantly 2 because at this day and age, nature has not yet found a way for a woman impregnating another woman… likewise for a man impregnating another man.


But for tita detective Precious, 1 + 1 was the least of her concern while being catapulted from her seat at the CLMS church toward the altar. She did not hear Professor Sally’s lecture because she was not in my daycare class.

Why am I hurtling… or hurling as Kal-EL had typed earlier… probably it is all semantics…fine with me because I am not anti-semantics, but why am I flying toward the altar! Tita Precious mumbled to herself. I was supposed to march toward the altar, like when Christine marched… slowly walked toward the waiting arms of Charlie, Angel Garcia singing Perfect… Perfect... that was supposed to be our wedding song too; Edo and I.

Well, tita detective Precious and her boypren tito Edo Manzanilla were supposed to get married… at least at some point while tita Precious was still at her perfect child-bearing days, but they kept breaking up because tito Edo was always jealous and suspicious. Especially when tita detective Precious and tito detective Charlie would spend so much time together detecting criminals… undercover in their little car. Tita Precious in her shorts and sando because well, it could really get hot inside their surveillance car.

You are wearing just a tshirt without a bra Preci… and you keep fanning yourself with your abaniko, your paper fan? Well Edo, we were supposed to be undercover… of course we were pretending to be just ordinary people sitting inside our car… and don’t worry Edo, nothing is happening, Charlie is a perfect partner and a gentleman.

Tita Precious was not incorrect, tito Charlie apparently has never attempted to make a move… even when tita Precious’ t-shirt would jiggle while fanning herself.

And undercover, Preci? Pobably you meant to say ‘under covered’ because you were almost not covered, like, when I walked in your apartment and the two of you… well, you said you were practicing your dance move for the upcoming Police Ball, but, was lap-dancing a part of your dance moves, because you were sitting on Charlie’s lap… don’t deny Preci, I know what I saw, I can still visualize it… I have a photographic memory!


“HOY Kal EL!” Ate Alma suddenly pointed at what I was typing the other day, “are you trying to write a pornographic story? Focus KAL-EL, this a family-oriented Iluko site!”

Ha? Pornographic story? I thought I typed ‘photographic memory’, I mumbled.

Enihu, at some point in time, tita Preci landed from her flight. She didn’t even realize she had closed her eyes as a preparation for the impact at the altar. Then she was flummoxed at what she saw when she opened her eyes:

Her arms around the Deacon’s shoulders and the Deacon’s arms around her waist, as if they were dancing to a sweet song, kapet-kapet 1970’s style.

Like how they dance in the old movies that I had seen, tita Precious almost giggled.

…dancing in the dark
with you between my…

Then tita Precious’ eyes suddenly grew wilder… or wider. Not realizing that it was the Deacon, and also not realizing that she was sitting on the Deacon’s lap, she felt something was poking at her. Then she reached for that something… then she felt it… something wet… and sticky?


Meanwhile, tito Karm while carrying Topet and Katrina Joy suddenly stopped running toward the back of the CLMS altar, toward the escape route. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing at the altar… tito Karm appeared to have been flummoxed by the scene.

“HOY Kar! Stop watching that scene as if it was a netflix movie! Keep moving or I’ll flummox you!”

(apparently, tita Rosario knows judo and karate, and, she apparently used a karate chop to flummox tito Karm before she left him, when she bakwit to Ukraine)

Meanwhile, back in Cavite, tito Giancarlo Instante suddenly experienced a throbbing headache. Tita Henrietta noticed that he suddenly slumped on the sofa while tita Cristi had this bewildered look.

Tita Henrietta: Something the matter honey Giancarlo

Tito Giancarlo: I think I need some ASA for my headache

Tita Henrietta: You need Kiss-pirin for your headache

Tito Giancarlo: No, Henri, I need ASA, Arra San Agustin… of course I need an aspirin for my headache

Tita Henrietta giggled and while she rummaged through her handbag, tita Cristi suddenly spoke:

You know, Miss Lara Mae Dario Garcia does look like Arra… especially the eyes.

Tita Henrietta and tito Giancarlo looked at each other, then they both laughed.

Meanwhile, tita Lara Mae’s nape hair suddenly stiffened, simgar. “Hmn,” she mumbled, “either I am going to see a kapre or kambal-kapres or… some people are talking about me.”

Then she nearly jumped when her smartphone gave some buzzing sound:

Bzzz-bzzzz-bzzz bzzz-bzzzz-bzzz bzzz-bzzzz-bzzz

Even Topet nearly jumped too because he was equally startled.

“Hello cuzin Lara Mae, Angel here.”

“Yes cuzin Angel, you sound harried.”

“OMG cuzin Lara Mae, we were bombed here at the Church of the Later Married Saints!”


Meanwhile, back in Tawi-Tawi, Tita A.G. Maya’s eyes got used to the brightness of the light. She could see that the walls of the church were gone… so was the roof. She could hear moans of pain. Then she noticed the kariton… the kariton that was being pulled by a carabao… no, it was not a kariton; it was … a kalapaw, a hut… a mobile hut?

Then she noticed the window of the hut, the window was made of pan-aw, or kugon or cogon grass. It was slightly being pushed… being opened.

Then, tita A.G. could see a veiled woman. The white veil appeared to be emitting a bright aura.

“Holy Mother of God!” Tita Alicia wanted to scream but she was screamless. “Am I really dead,” she mumbled. “Why am I looking at Mother Mary?”

She closed her eyes and pinched herself. “Aray,” she mumbled, “I felt that so I am not dead.”

Tita Alicia opened her eyes. And then their eyes met. “What beautiful eyes,” she mumbled. Then tita Alicia noticed the little faint mole about 1 cm below the left eye of the veiled and the beautiful woman.




Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2019





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