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iluko.com - website a magustoan a pagpalpallailangan dagiti pada a nangisit ti sikona.
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Pagsasaritaan a Topiko |
ILUKO.COM BAR, GRILL AND INTERNET CAFE
Ernie
3/27/2010 8:45:00 AM
Nanayunan ti dwa a kuarto para kadagitay aggorigor no saanda nga makainternet uray mangmanganda, hehehe. Completo, adda pay kasilyana dita ruaren no adda dagitay sarungusong nga aggiinum dita ruar ket adda pagdarasanda nga pagpaatianan. Awanen tay naangseg nga ang-angoten, yuck!
Adda amin a kita ti mainum, nasangerman wenno saan, aggapu ti Pinas wenno dita Timbukto, adda latta. Adu met a kita ti mak-makan nga orderen from melt-in-your-mouth Steaks to dadakkel a tarong a maituno sa makamatisan. Of couse saanyo a liplipatan dagitay nakairruaman a matuno a dalag, paltat ken Tilapia. Adu pay ti sinuoban a boneless Bangus. diyo liplipatan ti ag-order ti Fish Of The Day a Kilawen.....
Mabalinyo met ti agbalon kadagita naiimas a kankanen wenno luto nga paboritoyo ta mairaman kami met nga katungtungyo......
Pangaasiyo, dawat ti Management nga linisen bassit dagiti panagibbat ti sarita tapno saan a madismaya dagiti kakabsat nga um-umay sumarsarungkar/makidindinnamag/makiragrag-o kadaytoy a pasdektayo.
AGKAPETAYO NGARUDEN. Agsubbliak iti mabiit ta innak dita Filipino Foods mang order kadagiti naiimas a makmakan a pagsasangnguan a kas Grand Opening Celebration for Today.....
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Ernie
2/20/2012 7:34:00 PM
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Kalpasan iti pannakasuob ti dakkel a kayo ti Hayden Mango dita likudan ti kalapaw, kasta unay met ti sabongnan kakabsat....Kadayo nga adda padasna, ana ituloyko latta a suoban tapno saan nga iggesen dagiti agtaud nga bungana wenno saanen ta nagsabong metten....
Dadakkel sa nasam-it ti bunga, bareng adunto manen ti agbalin...ania ti makunayo gagayyem ken kakabsat nga adda padasna...please let me know.....
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Sutil
2/21/2012 6:37:00 AM
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Immayak pimmalapal ti mangga Tang Ernie ta napia la nga adda ibulon ko ditoy quatro cantos nga balon ko. Saan ka ugung-unget ta saan met unay nga adu ti naregreg nga bunga na. Inpulong da nga um-umay kano man ni Tigas nga aginlalaing ditoyen isu nga immayak la dim-maw-as ta umay ko kuma tiplaken tay kasla binangad a kerra nga rupa na ti durgi, ngem awan met. bwi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi..
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Patrick A. Gapusan
2/21/2012 7:51:00 AM
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Naimbag a bigatyo gagayyem a padak nga awan maaramidna a nasayaat, he he he! Naladawak sa metten a umay tumulong nga mangpulpog kadatay aso da Otiang & Berting? Pasado alas-onsen ti bigat, tumemplaakman ta iparamanko tay mix drinks a naipanagan ken Ading Ernie....
DIRTIEST ERNIE (Not dirty, not dirtier, but....dirtiest)
Ingredients
1 oz Bacardi Rum 151
1 oz Overclear Alcohol
1 oz Peppermint Liqueur
Put ice in a glass and pour ingredients, shake justs a little bit in a cocktail shaker. Grab a couple of shot glasses and two dapayeros, FGTigas and Sutil, that do not like each other very much. And pour the shot, you have yourself two Dirtiest Ernies. Bottoms up!!
Cheers!! May those who love us love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping!
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Cresencio Yagin
2/21/2012 1:49:00 PM
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saanko unay nga ammo maipanggep iti mangga. Kapanuutak laeng, saan met nga dakes no masusuoban latta,ta masuoban dagitay agsilud. No maarbisan met kunada nga nasaysayaat sa no sibugam ti kadaoyan nga danum kalpasan ti tudo,tapno mabuggo diay tudo. Adda pammatik kadayta,panangsibog iti kadaoyan nga danum tapno mabuggo diay tudo tapno saan nga bouten.Pagkunaak ket tuy mulak nga mangga ditoy pagtrabahuan,ket inaldao nga masibugan diay sabongna ,ket agbalin met latta ti bungana.
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Ernie
2/21/2012 3:18:00 PM
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Mabalin siguro ta kunam Ka Cresing nga sibugan ti pipe water(buggoan deagiti sabong) ta asidegkami ngamin iti airport sa sumungad ti angin ket iyanginna diay umatibuor nga asuk ti pilid ken jet fuel'en ta awan pay maysa a milya iti kaadayomi iti takeoff end ti runway(gumluong ti unida nga agtakeoff, hehehe). Chemical reaction ngata?.....
Padasekman ngem dagidiay laeng nababa a sabonga a ta natayag met ti kayo(katayag ti 2story house nga kaarubami)....
Damagko ngamin a dagitay gagayyem nga adda padasna kadagiti Carabaw Mangotayo diay Pinas ket suobanda kasanguanan ti panagsabong ket kasta unay ti agbalin....
Agyamanak kabsat iti suhestionmo ket no mairanakayto nga agpasyar ditoy Kauai no kaadu ti bungana, you are welcome to have some...
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abigail
2/22/2012 5:55:00 PM
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DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
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abigail
2/23/2012 8:29:00 PM
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SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
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Leo Beligan
2/25/2012 5:18:00 PM
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Abigail, manarimaan ti pananggutgutad ti slot machine ngem panay nga Cash Lost in Me.
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vilma reyes
2/26/2012 12:58:00 AM
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tapno mangabakka apong leo ket kunam: "para daytoy ken ni apokok a vilma...."
sigurado nga addanto met pasarabuk intono umayda makipiesta ken angkel pat no marso... yeheyyyyyy (umapalto la ketdi da bom bom, BORIS, sutil, kdpy. ngem ibingayakto da sister isabella, ni anti cirenia ken dagiti gagayyemko idtoy i.com)
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abigail
2/27/2012 7:39:00 AM
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Subject: APPRECIATION
Appreciation
This is a powerful message for our modern society.
We seem to have lost our bearing & our sense of direction.
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.
He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview. The
director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were
excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate
research, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"
The youth answered "none".
The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my
mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"
The youth answered, "My mother worked as laundry woman.
The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes
before?"
The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and
read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. "When you go back today, go and clean
your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went
back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother
felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the
young man.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled,
and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful
that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands
that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The
bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for
his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed
all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me
what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning
all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."
The youth said:
1. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother,
there would not have been the successful me today.
2. By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to
get something done.
3. I have come to appreciate the importance and value
of family relationships.
The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want
to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who
knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would
not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of
his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The
company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted,
would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put him self first.
He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he
assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager,
he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame
others. For this kind of a person, who may be good academically, may be
successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement.
He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this
kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying
the children instead?*
You can let your children live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano,
watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them
experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together
with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to
hire a maid, you want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents
are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young
person. The most important thing is your children learn how to appreciate
the effort and experience the difficulty and learn how to work with others
to get things done.
You would have forwarded many mails to many and many of them would have back
mailed you too...but try and forward this story to as many as
possible...this may change somebody for the better.
YOUR SMILE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND._._._ .
MAKE IT SOME ONE ELSE'S TOO !
BE HAPPY, IT'S ONE WAY OF BEING WISE,
Have a nice day my friend.
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MILIG
2/29/2012 4:43:00 PM
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The story is told about a king in Africa who had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"
"What do you mean, "this is good!" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you!"
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otiang
3/1/2012 6:15:00 AM
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One detail that is never mentioned is that in Washington , D.C. There can never be a building of greater height than the Washington Monument.
With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc., this is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this amazing historical information.
On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington , D.C. , are displayed two words:
Laus Deo.
No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn't care less.
Once you know Laus Deo's history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. These words have been there for many years; they are 555 feet, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia, capital of the United States of America.
Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, unnoticed words. Out of sight and, one might think, out of mind, but very meaningfully placed at the highest point over what is the most powerful city in the most successful nation in the world.
So, what do those two words, in Latin, composed of just four syllables and only seven letters, possibly mean? Very simply, they say 'Praise be to God!'
Though construction of this giant obelisk began in 1848, when James Polk was President of the United States, it was not until 1888 that the monument was inaugurated and opened to the public. It took twenty-five years to finally cap the memorial with a tribute to the Father of our nation,
Laus Deo
'Praise be to God!'
From atop this magnificent granite and marble structure, visitors may take in the beautiful panoramic view of the city with its division into four major segments. From that vantage point, one can also easily see the original plan of the designer, Pierre Charles l'Enfant ..... a perfect cross imposed upon the landscape, with the White House to the north. The Jefferson Memorial is to the south, the Capitol to the east and the Lincoln Memorial to the west.
A cross you ask? Why a cross? What about
separation of church and state? Yes, a cross;
separation of church and state was not,
is not, in the Constitution.
So, read on. How interesting and,
no doubt, intended to carry a profound
meaning for those who bother to notice.
When the cornerstone of the Washington Monument was
laid on July 4th, 1848 deposited within it were many items
including the Holy Bible presented by the Bible Society.
Praise be to God!
Such was the discipline, the moral direction, and the
spiritual mood given by the founder and first
President of our unique democracy
'One Nation, Under God!
I am awed by George Washington's prayer for America ..... Have you ever read it? Well, now is your unique opportunity, so read on!
' Almighty God; We make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection; that Thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government; and entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another and for their fellow citizens of the United States at large. And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without a humble imitation of whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.'
Laus Deo!
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Leo Beligan
3/3/2012 1:44:00 PM
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NO MORE PECHANGA. I AM BOYCOTTING PECHANGA CASINO.
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justine
3/3/2012 4:58:00 PM
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Every morning he'd wake up and say, "I won't go near near a cockfight arena...I gambled my savings, my retirement, my inheritance. I gambled everything I could get a hold of." That's when Lolo Patrick found his third occupation: Drug Dealer.
Every weekend that Atty. Leo finished gambling at the Pechanga, he'd say, "That's it, I'm not going to gamble anymore. It's got to stop!" And the next weekend, he'd be back at the Pechanga Casino getting robbed by a One-armed bandit again. Hi hi hi! Peace, Sir Leo!
Well, congratulations,Sir Leo, We hope you're really boycotting Pechanga Casino for good....hey....wait a minute, just Pechanga? What about Barona Casino, Agua Caliente, La Posta, Hustler, etc???
Sir Leo, you seem to have more sense than Lolo Patrick...who just started a three-year all-paid-for vacation at the expense of Juan dela Cruz.
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abigail
3/10/2012 6:03:00 PM
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An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came Swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray- up, B*&!@."
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cirenia
3/14/2012 7:19:00 AM
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Carl was a quiet man. He didn't talk much. He would always greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake.
Even after living in our neighborhood for over 50 years, no one could really say they knew him very well.
Before his retirement, he took the bus to work each morning. The lone sight of him walking down the street often worried us.
He had a slight limp from a bullet wound received in WWII.
Watching him, we worried that although he had survived WWII, he may not make it through our changing uptown neighborhood with its ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug activity.
When he saw the flyer at our local church asking for volunteers for caring for the gardens behind the minister's residence, he responded in his characteristically unassuming manner. Without fanfare, he just signed up.
He was well into his 87th year when the very thing we had always feared finally happened.
He was just finishing his watering for the day when three gang members approached him.
Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him, he simply asked, "Would you like a drink from the hose?"
The tallest and toughest-looking of the three said, "Yeah, sure," with a malevolent little smile.
As Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed Carl's arm, throwing him down.
As the hose snaked crazily over the ground, dousing everything in its way, Carl's assailants stole his retirement watch and his wallet, and then fled.
Carl tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown down on his bad leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister came running to help him.
Although the minister had witnessed the attack from his window, he couldn't get there fast enough to stop it.
"Carl, are you okay? Are you hurt?" the minister kept asking as he helped Carl to his feet.
Carl just passed a hand over his brow and sighed, shaking his head. "Just some punk kids. I hope they'll wise-up someday."
His wet clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to pick up the hose. He adjusted the nozzle again and started to water.
Confused and a little concerned, the minister asked, "Carl, what are you doing?"
"I've got to finish my watering. It's been very dry lately," came the calm reply.
Satisfying himself that Carl really was all right, the minister could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and place.
A few weeks later the three returned. Just as before their threat was unchallenged.
Carl again offered them a drink from his hose.
This time they didn't rob him.. They wrenched the hose from his hand and drenched him head to foot in the icy water.
When they had finished their humiliation of him, they sauntered off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses, falling over one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had just done.
Carl just watched them. Then he turned toward the warmth giving sun, picked up his hose, and went on with his watering.
The summer was quickly fading into fall. Carl was doing some tilling when he was startled by the sudden approach of someone behind him. He stumbled and fell into some evergreen branches.
As he struggled to regain his footing, he turned to see the tall leader of his summer tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for the expected attack.
"Don't worry old man, I'm not gonna hurt you this time."
The young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a crumpled bag from his pocket and handed it to Carl.
"What's this?" Carl asked. "It's your stuff," the man explained. "It's your stuff back.
Even the money in your wallet." "I don't understand," Carl said. "Why would you help me now?"
The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill at ease. "I learned something from you," he said. "I ran with that gang and hurt people like you. We picked you because you were old and we knew we could do it But every time we came and did something to you, instead of yelling and fighting back, you tried to give us a drink. You didn't hate us for hating you. You kept showing love against our hate."
He stopped for a moment. "I couldn't sleep after we stole your stuff, so here it is back."
He paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what more there was to say. "That bag's my way of saying thanks for straightening me out, I guess." And with that, he walked off down the street.
Carl looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly opened it. He took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist.. Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo. He gazed for a moment at the young bride that still smiled back at him from all those years ago.
He died one cold day after Christmas that winter. Many people attended his funeral in spite of the weather.
In particular the minister noticed a tall young man that he didn't know sitting quietly in a distant corner of the church.
The minister spoke of Carl's garden as a lesson in life.
In a voice made thick with unshed tears, he said, "Do your best and make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never forget Carl and his garden."
The following spring another flyer went up. It read: "Person needed to care for Carl's garden."
The flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until one day when a knock was heard at the minister's office door.
Opening the door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed hands holding the flyer. "I believe this is my job, if you'll have me," the young man said.
The minister recognized him as the same young man who had returned the stolen watch and wallet to Carl.
He knew that Carl's kindness had turned this man's life around. As the minister handed him the keys to the garden shed, he said, "Yes, go take care of Carl's garden and honor him."
The man went to work and, over the next several years, he tended the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had done.
During that time, he went to college, got married, and became a prominent member of the community. But he never forgot his promise to Carl's memory and kept the garden as beautiful as he thought Carl would have kept it.
One day he approached the new minister and told him that he couldn't care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and happy smile, "My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she's bringing him home on Saturday.."
"Well, congratulations!" said the minister, as he was handed the garden shed keys. "That's wonderful! What's the baby's name?"
"Carl," he replied..
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BORIS
3/21/2012 4:04:00 PM
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A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.
Officer: May i see your license?
Lady: what does it look like?
Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.
The officer opens it up and says "if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
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BORIS
4/1/2012 1:19:00 PM
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Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.
It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
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apdo
4/3/2012 6:49:00 AM
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OLD PERSON PRIDE
I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old person receiving it. Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.
Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old People remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor , Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
If you bump into an Old Person on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Person on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old People trust strangers and are courtly to women.
Old People hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
It's the Old People who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.
We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old People
DEDICATED TO UNCLE ERNIE KEN NI APONG TORNI
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cirenia
4/5/2012 3:05:00 AM
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BUDDHA - THE ENLIGHTENED ONE
The Buddha explained how to handle insult and maintain compassion.
One day, Buddha was walking through a village.
A very angry and rude young
man came up and began insulting him.
"You have no right teaching others,"
he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a
fake."
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead, he asked the young man,
"Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone and that person does not take it,
to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered,
"It would belong to me because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same
with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted,
then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes
unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and
become loving instead. When you hate others, you, yourself become unhappy.
But when you love others, everyone is happy."
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Leo Beligan
4/11/2012 4:21:00 PM
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A mother's bachelor son invited her over for a meal. He had just gotten two new dogs and wanted his mom to see them. When she sat down at the table, she noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that she had ever seen in her life. "Have these dishes ever been washed?" she asked, running her fingers over the grit and grime. "They're as clean as soap and water could get them," he answered. She felt a bit apprehensive but started eating anyway. The food was really delicious, and she said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, her son took the dishes, put them on the floor, whistled, and yelled, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"
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isabella
4/12/2012 3:52:00 PM
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For Anyone Who Owns A cat
Instructions on how to clean your toilet....
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe it while you carry it to the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet. The cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides "power-wash and rinse."
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there is nobody between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and open both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where it will dry itself off.
9. Both the cat and the commode will be sparkling clean.
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BORIS
4/13/2012 7:53:00 PM
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Lakay Flor staggered home late after another evening with his drinking
buddies.
Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly
as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught himself by
grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his
rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful.
Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up, pulled down his pants and
examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in the mirror of a nearby
darkened hallway, then managed to find a large full box of band aids before
proceeding to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood.
After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and
stumble his way to bed.
In the morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to
find his wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You
were drunk again last night!!!"
Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and
replied:
"Now Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at
the bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house, and
your bloodshot eyes but, mostly....it's all those band aids stuck on the
downstairs mirror!"
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abigail
4/16/2012 7:23:00 AM
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This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ...."
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isabella
4/16/2012 5:21:00 PM
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Besides Angkel Fil Tate, how many members of the Tate FAmily belong to your church?
There is old man Dic Tate who wants to run everything, while uncle Ro Tate tries to change everything. There's sister Agi Tate who stirs up plenty of trouble, with help from her husband Irri Tate. Whenever new projects are suggested, Hesi Tate and his wife, Vege Tate, want to wait until next year. Then there is aunt Imi Tate, who wants our church to be like all the others. Devas Tate provides the voice of doom, while Poten Tate wants to be a big shot. But not all members of the family are bad. Brother Facili Tate is quite helpful in church matters. And a delightful, happy member of the family is Felici Tate. Cousins Medi Tate and Cogi Tate always think things over and lend helpful, steady hands. And of course there is the black sheep of the family, Ampu Tate, who has completely cut himself off from the church. How about it - do you know anyone from the 'Tate' family besides angkel Fil Tate?
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justine
4/20/2012 3:37:00 PM
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Itemplaak man ti mainom da Tata Ernie ken Lolo Patrick ta nabayag dan a AWOL, bareng sansanen da ti umay sumarungkar ditoy abong no maramanan da daytoy templa nga Isbo Ni Satanas.
Satan's Piss
Recipe
1.5 oz Bacardi Rum 151
1.5 oz Crown Royal
5.0 dashes of Tabasco (Habanero) Sauce
Pour Bacardi and Crown Royal in a triple-shot glass, add 5 dashes of Tabasco. Serve at room temperature. Bottoms up!
Here's to faggots and homos (specially Lakay Flor)...thanks for nothing!
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Leo Beligan
4/21/2012 6:51:00 AM
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Komusta Kabsat Ernie
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Ernie
4/21/2012 11:33:00 AM
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Kaasi no Apo ket nadanona ti ummtinine a tawenen kabsat...nakurang a maysa pay mabalin metten ti agbiahe a kas kadakayo(Palubos ni Apo a namarsua), hehehe....
Ikam-kamakammi daytoy extension ti abong ta addanto pagyanan dagiti dadduma nga sangaili ton madanonan ti bertdey dayoy inaudi nga apokomi kabsat...diak pay ket masangsango ti um-umay sumarungkayen no dadduma ta kamkamaten metten ti alikuteg nga ubing, hehehe....
Apay awan ti appointmentmo dita Pechangga ita? Good luck no aada tiempom dita kabsat bareng mapatangam tay Progressive dagita "one arm bandits"....
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Leo Beligan
4/24/2012 8:07:00 AM
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Ten Commandments for Seniors (New Version)
1. Thou shalt not complain.
Huwag maging reklamador. Kung hindi mo gusto ang isang bagay talikuran at kalimutan.
2. Thou shalt not discuss thy ailments, even if asked.
Lahat ng tao ay may karamdaman sa, o pananakit ng katawan. Kahit usisain ng ibang tao huwag magpahayag ng mahabang nobela ng inyong karamdaman.
3. Thou shalt not be argumentative, domineering and sanctimonious.
Iwasan ang makipagtalo, mapagmataas at magkutya ng kapwa tao, o magpakitang banal na virgen. Lahat ng tao ay magkaiba - merong gago na madada pero walang magawang tama, merong mataas ang noo saksakan naman ang utang, at meron ding palasimba ala angel ngunit palaaway at ang salita ay parating nagtatapos ng p.... ina mo.
4. Thou shalt not feel sorry or thyself.
Huwag maawa sa sarili. Kahit maglulupasay sa iyak at maguntog ng ulo sa pader walang makikiramay sa mga taong malalim ang katangahan at mababa ang pagtingin sa kanilang sarili.
5. Thou shalt not despairingly compare today with the "good old days."
Huwag paulit-ulit na ihahambing ang magagandang nakaraan sa nangyayaring kasalukuyan. Kahit pumuti ang uwak hindi na babalik ang mga nakaraang panahon.
6. Thou shalt not find too much fault with younger people.
Huwag makialam sa problema ng mga kabataan. Ang kanilang ginagawa ay umaayon sa kanilang panahon at mga kaibigan.
7. Thou shalt not let thyself grow sloppy in body, dress or mind.
Mag-ayos ng katawan at maligo araw araw.
8. Thou shalt not expect constant attention from thy family.
Huwag maghintay ng pagkalinga na manggagaling sa sariling pamilya. Tapos na ang iyong panahon. Ang panahon nila ay para sa kanilang sariling pamilya.
9. Thou shalt not try to change people.
Huwag na huwag subukan na baguhin ang ibang tao. Lahat tayo ay may iba-ibang kulay, hugis at isip. Manahimik ka na lang kung ayaw mo ng away.
10. Thou shalt not insist upon being right all the time.
Huwag kang makulit. Ang makukulit ay ipinapain sa leon.
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cirenia
4/26/2012 8:56:00 AM
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At the cash register of the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own shopping bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The cashier responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations. You didn't have the green thing."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycling. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every shop and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the Melbourne Cricket Ground. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the post, we used wrapped up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank water from a tap when we were thirsty instead of demanding a plastic bottle flown in from another country. We accepted that a lot of food was seasonal and didn't expect that to be trucked in or flown thousands of air miles. We actually cooked food that didn't come out of a packet, tin or plastic wrap and we could even wash our own vegetables and chop our own salad.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, city people took the tram or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart-ass young person.
Remember:
Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
SAGOT KO KEN NI APONG TORNI
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lintik
4/29/2012 8:05:00 AM
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Vilma was found guilty in traffic court. When asked for her occupation, she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge spoke from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."
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Leo Beligan
4/29/2012 4:53:00 PM
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mapanak idiay Honolulu, May 10 to May 17.
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abigail
5/4/2012 6:29:00 AM
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A *rich blond* buys the New Automatic BMW X6 Sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, But at night the car just
won't move at all.
She tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck.
She then furiously calls the BMW dealer and they send out a technician to
her, the technician asks: Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right
gears??
Full of anger, the blond replies: You fool, idiot man, how could you could
ask such a question, I'm not stupid!! I use* **D* for the Day and *N** *for
the Night..
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isabella
5/4/2012 1:19:00 PM
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Lakay Flor walked into a gas station and asked the manager, "I locked my car keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a wire hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."
"Why, sure," said the manager, "we have something that works specially for that."
A couple of minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how Lakay Flor was doing. He heard another voice.
"No, no, a little bit to the right!" said his gay lover inside the car.
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Leo Beligan
5/9/2012 7:02:00 PM
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A wealthy woman was giving a garden party with several well-to-do guests attending. During the festivities, two gardeners were out on the back lawn working. One gardener was busy weeding, when the other suddenly leaped high into the air and spun around. Taken by his grace, a guest remarked to the host, "That man is such a talented dancer! I’ll pay him five hundred dollars to dance at my next party!" When the host asked the first gardener about such an arrangement, he yelled, "Hey, Louis! Do you think for five hundred bucks you could step on that rake again?"
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Popong Eugenio Pascua
5/10/2012 4:45:00 PM
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Kumusta kayo amin apo nga nadanon ko....
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Sutil
5/11/2012 5:49:00 PM
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Popong, apay dayta la ti maipilkat mon? Ni Pitong ket nagbukel kano tay ulo nan, sika dippig pay laeng?
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abigail
5/13/2012 8:26:00 PM
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Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when Mom started to clean up, I said to her, "Don't bother with those dishes, Mom. Today is Mother's Day, you can always do them tomorrow."
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS.
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abigail
5/21/2012 7:09:00 AM
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A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of retirees when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which she gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and hands him another handful of peanuts. When she is about to hand him another batch he asks her: "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?" "We can't chew them because we have no teeth," she replies. "We just love the chocolate coating on them."
AGMURMURAY KAN ANGKEL ERNIE
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isabella
5/22/2012 9:12:00 PM
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In a party, some guests were bragging about sex on their wedding night. Lakay Flor proudly said that he did it 10 times with his wife on his wedding night.
Pitong braggedh that he did it 6 times before going to sleep the first night.
Leo claimed he did it four times on his first night.
They turned towards Ernie and asked how many times he did it on their wedding night.
Ernie replied, "Only once."
They all laughed, and Lakay Flor asked, "WHY??"
Ernie proudly replied, "My wife wasn't used to it....it was her first time!"
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Leo Beligan
5/23/2012 7:42:00 AM
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CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES. ITA NGA ALDAW TI PANGKALLAYSA NI ALLYSSA TUASON.
Isabella saludsodem ken ni Allyssa.
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isabella
5/26/2012 10:50:00 AM
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Manang Allyssa, congratulations. I wish you that quarrel, misunderstanding and misfortune will never ever touch you. Have a long and happy life together!
Manang Allyssa, kayat ni Atty. Leo nga pasaludsod no ania met ti maipangas ni Mister iti umuna a rabiiyo!?
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Laramie Dario Gracia
5/26/2012 11:46:00 PM
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@Angkel Leo/Ate Isabella/Ebribadi, kumusta po kayo amin amin. Kaasi ni Apo Dios, successful ti naaramid a panagkasar ni Sis Allayssa idi Mierkules, Mayo 23. And Sis Allyssa and her hubby, Jay-R would like to extend their best regards to you and all iluko.com members. Siempre po, kung posible lang po na naroroon din kayo sa okasyong iyon, mas masaya sana. Pero gustong ipaalam ni sis Allyssa na babawi daw po siya sa kanilang church wedding -- iimbitahan daw po kayong lahat lahat in advance.
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Leo Beligan
6/1/2012 5:36:00 AM
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Kabsat Ernie, have you heard the latest about the naked man found dead at the Nagtahan Bridge? The investigator easily concluded that the dead man is from San Nicolas, Ilocos Norte, after seeing the condom he was wearing. Why?
The condom was vulcanized!
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abigail
6/4/2012 5:22:00 PM
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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, "The Meaning of Dreams."
Uncle Ernie, ania ti regalom ken ni Auntie
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Leo Beligan
6/8/2012 10:12:00 AM
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SEX ON THE SABBATH
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
After consulting the Bible, the Priest says, ' My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.'
!
The man thinks: ' What does a priest know about sex?' So he goes to a Minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the Minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a Rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, ' My son, sex is definitely play.' The man replies, 'Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?'
The Rabbi softly speaks, 'If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.
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isabella
6/10/2012 5:32:00 AM
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Pacquiao vs Bradley - Nangabak diay $1M a pusta ni Boss Chavit ti $3.5M.
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cirenia
6/18/2012 9:18:00 PM
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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket then asks the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and asks the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The man replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
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isabella
6/19/2012 1:08:00 PM
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Lakay Flor and Baket Flora have two very beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Baket Flora got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. Lakay Flor joyfully rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he'd ever seen.
Lakay Flor told Baket Flora, "There's no way I can be the father of this ugly baby. Look at the two beautiful daughers I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
Baket Flora smiled sweetly and replied, "NO, NOT THIS TIME!"
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isabella
6/19/2012 1:10:00 PM
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A middle aged couple had two awesomely beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Baket Flora got pregnant and deliveed a healthy baby boy. Lakay Flor joyfully rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he'd ever seen.
Lakay Flor told Baket Flora, "There's no way I could be the father of this baby. Compare him to the two beautiful daughers I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
Baket Flora smiled sweetly and replied, "No, ot this time!"
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Ken H. Oagayen
6/22/2012 5:31:00 AM
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umayak man makitagay kakang ernie ti kona kape ta bareng mawaknitan daytoy nasipnget a dalanko-:)
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abigail
6/27/2012 6:23:00 PM
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The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see RockCity and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried .
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Marge Tadeja
6/28/2012 6:10:00 PM
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warning: http://www.iluko.com/article.aspx?ArticleID=10344
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isabella
7/4/2012 2:33:00 PM
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Manang Marge, ipalawag mo man to ania daytoy impostem a ballaag!?
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Ernie
7/7/2012 10:15:00 AM
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Naimbag a bigat ti Sabadoyo kakabsat ken gagayyem nga masansan nga umay bumisbisita kadaytoy kalapawtayo nga paggaangawan/pasasaritaan/pagpipinnadamagan......Adu daytoy insursirda nga Ahi ket nagaramidak iti iyegko ditoy ta adda pagraramanan a pulotanen ken itag-ay....kabsat Leo, kasanguanan a mapanka dita Pechangga, Ken ken kadaykay aminen a mayat....sanguentayoman ngarud...CHEERS!!!!
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Ernie
7/7/2012 10:17:00 AM
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Dagita bunga't Mangga ket kappuros, darundon daytoy nay naruot nga Hayden Mango ditoy likudan ti kalapawmi... dagita saan unay a naluom ti mayat nga pulagidan ti Shrimp Boggoong...
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isabella
7/8/2012 5:37:00 AM
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LBGT knows from experience that men and women who enjoy eating raw fish are great lovers. If you enjoy eating sushi you also enjoy eating p*ssy. Hawaiian lesbians and men's favorite raw food is Poke.
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Leo Beligan
7/12/2012 9:41:00 PM
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NAGIMASEN KABSAT
MABALIN NGA POKE POKE
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abigail
7/18/2012 7:58:00 PM
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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
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Berting
7/20/2012 5:06:00 AM
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Get an 80-year-old guy with eyesight so very poor that, every time he plays with the little 80-year-old lady, his d_ck goes to the wrong hole!
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isabella
7/20/2012 9:02:00 AM
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Kuya Berting, nagboris ngata diay 80-y-o a baket ta isu't nabasa a nakarawa diay 80-y-o a lakay (bulsek pay) kaya doon ipinasok.
Or maybe, just like Lakay Flor who's a faggot, he'd rather have his d*ck shoved up a bunghole.
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Lakay Flor
7/20/2012 2:42:00 PM
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he he he....ni tatang isabella dayta 80 y-o nga dodoogan nga lakay nga arrap ken agkabaw payen.... peman!
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Leo Beligan
7/26/2012 10:32:00 PM
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Kakabsat - nagpukaw kayon ?
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Ernie
7/28/2012 10:41:00 AM
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Ala umayka ketdi kabsat ta pagsanguanta dayta naisaganas. saansa met a kayat dagiti umay makiin-innangaw, hehehe....apay saanka nga nagpa Pechangga ita a weekend? Madama a linglingtaek dagitay kajkasla siko kadadakkelna nga mata ken dagitay payen itlogna dayta Ahi...Kaaduek ti Pyasna tapno umalsem bassit.... irap-rapin nga aywanan dagitoy dua nga appok ta agtrabahoda met amin iti weekend yorz....
August 25, agdadanontayo dita Excalibur , LV. Nakasaganan ni Kapid Jun Bumanlag ken Kasin Alfredo nga mapan mangngurungor iti urbon a mekmek, nayun daytoy Ahi nga itugutkonto...
Agbuyatayoman ketdi ti Olympics, madama dagiti agbis-bisekleta..
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isabella
7/28/2012 5:19:00 PM
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Naimbag a bigat mo Tata Ernie! Nagimasen apo ti agigup ti nakamiasan a ikan, yummy. Nananam a sultopen wenno susupen dagita kasla siko ti kadadakkel na a mata ti Yellow Fin. Napintas a pagpraktisan no mahilig ka nga agnutnut tay one-eyed jack nga alaga ti boypren mo, wenno boypren ti asinno man a makin boypren dita. Tata Ernie, no ado ti urbon a mekmek dita lugar yo, ado met ti urbon a pekpek idtoy lugar mi.
Good luck dita Pechanga, Tata Leo.
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Leo Beligan
8/2/2012 3:08:00 PM
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Love this Cop !
Police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a**hole!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;
"Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a**hole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?
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isabella
8/4/2012 2:16:00 AM
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Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with their ashes.
Boris said, "My Honey loved to fly, so I'm going up in an airplane to scatter his ashes in the sky."
Berting said, "My Sweetheart was an excellent fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
Lakay Flor said, "My Sugar Daddy was such an excellent lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of red-hot chili con carne, so he can tear my ass up one more time!"
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abigail
8/13/2012 11:26:00 PM
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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
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abigail
8/16/2012 8:30:00 PM
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Subject: INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT AIRLINES, AIRPORTS
AND AIR TRAVELING -
INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT AIRLINES, AIRPORTS AND AIR TRAVELING -
• All International Airline Pilots speaks English.
• Flights longer than 8 hours require 3 pilots (1 captain and 2 first officers) to rotate flying duties.
Flights longer than 12 hours require 4 pilots (1 captain and 3 first officers). They usually fly 3-4
hour shifts.
•Each airline pilot flying the aircraft, eats a different meal to minimize the risk of all pilots on
board being ill.
•On average, pilots fly between 9 and 14 days a month (Indian company pilots fly 24 to 26 days)
•All airlines have an agreement to let each others' travelling pilots occupy empty seats. If no
seats are available, the travelling pilot can also occupy an extra seat in the cockpit that is usually
empty.
•The main function of flight attendants are for the safety and security of their passengers, and
passenger comfort is only secondary.
•The first female flight attendants in 1930 were required to weigh less than 115 pounds. In
addition, they had to be nurses and unmarried.
•Flight attendants must not have any tattoos visible when a uniform is worn. These requirements
are designed to give the airlines a positive representation.
•The normal ratio of Flight Attendants to passenger seats is one Flight Attendant for every 50
passenger seats.
•The height requirement for Flight Attendant is for safety reasons, making sure that all flight
attendants can reach overhead safety equipment.
•The normal ratio of Lavatories to passengers is approximately one lavatory for every 50 passengers.
•An air traveler can lose approximately 1.5 liters of water in the body during a three-hour flight.
•The reason why the lights are turned out during takeoff and landing–Is for your eyes to adjust to
lower levels of light. If there's an accident and they have to activate the emergency slides, studies
have shown that you will be able to see better and therefore be able to evacuate more quickly and
safely.
•The World’s largest Airline in terms of Fleet Size is Delta Airlines United States) with 744 aircraft
and 121 aircraft on order as of March 2011.
•The largest passenger plane is the Airbus 380 - nearly 240 feet long, almost 80 feet high, and has
a wingspan of more than 260 feet. The double-decker plane has a standard seating capacity of 555
passengers.
•The world’s busiest airport in terms of passenger volume or the number of takeoffs and landings,
is Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport, Atlanta, Georgia, United States – with more than
88 million passengers shuffled through the Atlanta airport in 2009, with another 20 million in the first
three months of 2010, and with aircraft take-off and landings approximately every 37 seconds.
•The Internet/On-Line check-in was first used by Alaskan Airlines in 1999.
•The world’s Largest Airport is Kansai International Airport, Osaka, Japan (as of 2011). By 2013 Al
Maktoum International Airport in Jebel Ali, Dubai, United Arab Emirates is planned to be the largest
airport in the world.
•The airport with the longest runway in the world is Qamdo Bangda Airport in the Peoples Republic
of China with 5.50 kilometers in length (as of 2011).
•American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by removing 1 olive from each salad served in first class.
•In 2009, Southwest served 63.2 million cans of soda, juices, and water; 14.3 million alcoholic
beverages; 14 million bags of pretzels; 90 million bags of peanuts; 17.7 million Select-A-Snacks; and
33.5 million other snacks.
•Singapore Airlines spends about $700 million on food every year and $16 million on wine alone. First
class passengers consume 20,000 bottles of alcohol every month and Singapore Airlines is the second
largest buyer of Dom Perignon champagne in the world.
•Cathay Pacific carries rice cookers, toasters, cappuccino makers and skillets on board their airplanes.
•KLM of Netherlands stands for Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij (meaning Royal Dutch Airlines).
•KLM is the worlds' oldest airline established in 1919.
•QANTAS - Australia’s national airline, originally stood for Queensland And Northern Territories Air
Service.
•QANTAS is the second world’s oldest airline established in 1920.
•QANTAS still has the world's best safety record with no crashes as of 2011.
•Virgin Atlantic lists catering as their third biggest expense, after fuel and maintenance.
•American Airlines spent about $425 million on food for domestic passengers in 2001.
•In one year, British Airways passengers consume:
* 40.5 tons of chicken
* 6 tons of caviar
* 22 tons of smoked salmon
* 557,507 boxes of chocolate
* 90 thousand cases (9 liter cases) of sparkling wine.
•Abu Dhabi Airport Services once did a complete turn-around for a Boeing 777 in under 40 minutes,
as opposed to a normal minimum of one hour. They unloaded passengers, cargo, mail, cleaned the
aircraft, and loaded outbound passengers, cargo and mail in that short time.
•In 2001, Dubai Duty Free sold 1,570,214 cartons of cigarettes, 2,003,151 bottles of liquor, 2,909
kilograms of gold, 101,824 watches, 690,502 bottles of perfume, 52,119 mobile phones.
•In-flight catering is an $18 billion worldwide industry employing up to 200,000 people.
*Delta Airline was the first to introduce air bridge, which saved travellers lengthy walk from the plane
to the terminal.
NOW you know
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Leo Beligan
8/21/2012 3:32:00 AM
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Thrilla in Manila: On location with 'The Bourne Legacy'
Finally, a film that films Manila as Manila. Here's a guide to the new movie's Philippines shoot locations
By Cheryl Tiu 20 August, 2012 Jeremy Renner and Rachel Weisz spent nearly two months ripping through the streets of Manila to film "Bourne Legacy"..Hard-core fans of rogue CIA assassin "Jason Bourne" have already followed him through Zurich, Paris, Mykonos, Berlin, Goa, Moscow, Tangiers, Madrid, London and New York City.
But in just released "The Bourne Legacy," the fourth installment of the films based on the Robert Ludlum spy action thriller series, it’s less -- or rather, no -- Bourne (Matt Damon) and more legacy, in the form of agent Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner).
Cross travels through Alaska, Washington D.C. and New York, but he spends quite a bit of time in the Philippines, where the film's crew spent 45 days shooting around the streets of Manila.
Big budget films have been shot here before. What has Filipinos excited is that it's the first Hollywood film to include the Philippines in location credits on the big screen.
“The Philippines has played almost any country -- Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, Mexico, Panama, Cuba," says Lope “Jun” Juban, Jr., president of Philippine Film Studios, which worked on the "Legacy" shoot.
"It is only now that we are filming Manila as Manila, which is great for us.”
Here's a quick guide to where some of the movie's key scenes were filmed.
Shoot location: Remedios Circle
Jeremy Renner drops down "the chasm," built especially for a key scene near Manila's Remedios Circle.The scene: The cops chase Marta and she reaches a dead end, an entrance to a very narrow alleyway.
The action: According to Second Assistant Director Maricris Calilung, the very narrow alleyway -- called “the chasm” -- where Marta gets trapped by two cops was constructed in a vacant lot across Remedios Circle (a five-minute walk from the San Andres Market).
Remedios Circle used to feature some of Manila's most happening nightlife, with clubs, bars and discos pulsating from night to day.
While it's no longer as jumping as it was during its 1980s/1990s heyday, the idyllic circle still retains some of its bohemian, “come as you are” vibe.
Tourist fare: Café Adriatico (1790 M. Adriatico St.; +63 2 738 8220), which has been described as “the first true Filipino Café,” continues to serve classic Spanish and Filipino dishes in an old-world setting with a terrace perfect for people watching.
The Bar@1951, formerly Penguin Café, (1951 M. Adriatico St.) features live indie bands and exhibits.
A short distance away, Oarhouse (1688-B, Jorge Bocobo Street; +63 2516 7296), another Malate institution, founded by retired U.S. Navy pilot Charles “Chuck” Monroe, serves pub fare like fish-and-chips and chicken wings.
More on CNN: How to be a Manila local: 10 tips on faking it
Shoot location: Jones Bridge
Future 'Bourne' stuntmen? Manila kids jump off the Jones Bridge into the polluted Pasig River.The Scene: Motorcycle police pursue operative Larx-03 (Louis Ozawa Changchien), who jumps on one of the bikes and throws the cops off.
The action: Aaron takes his bike up the stairs, across Jones Bridge, and down the stair rail on the other side.
Tourist fare: Formerly known as Puente de Espana (Bridge of Spain), this was the first bridge to be built in the country in 1623, spanning the Pasig River.
The Neoclassical Bridge was once hailed as the queen of bridges, but fell into neglect in the 1980s.
Today, strolling or driving across the bridge offers a gorgeous view of the Manila Post Office and other parts of old Manila on one side.
The other side opens up to Bindondo, one of the oldest Chinatowns in the world.
Shoot location: San Andres Neighborhood
From aging jeepneys to ramshackle rooftops, Manila's gritty streets play a starring role in 'The Bourne Legacy.' The scene: This is where Aaron (Renner) and Dr. Marta Shearing (Rachel Weisz) run, hide and seek refuge from Philippine cops. Producer Patrick Crowley described it to media as “one of the best chase scenes ever.”
The action: The neighborhood’s ramshackle houses and dark alleyways are home to some of the city’s lower and middle income earners.
In "Legacy," rooftops in San Andres were replaced for the chase scene, and they hired hundreds of local technicians and drivers, rented a parking lot and “trained a core group of drivers to keep a straight line and not to flinch as Hollywood stuntmen and motorcycles raced past them with inches to spare,” says Crowley.
Tourist fare: San Andres is home to the popular 400-square-meter San Andres Market, which locals claim is where you'll find some of the largest and most colorful selection of fruits in the country.
Mangoes, rambutans, pineapples, melons, apples, pears and durians are among the greats, and which can be arranged in fruit baskets for gifts at some stalls.
Bargaining is the name of the game here.
Getting there: Head for San Andres Street, in Manila's Malate district.
More on CNN: The best of Manila
Shoot location: Marikina Public Market
Forget Bourne. Marikina's real claim to fame is its designation as the "shoe capital" of the Philippines. The Scene: When Aaron shoots at Larx, who is on a motorcycle, he crashes on a fruit and vegetable stall in the market.
The Action: One of the largest markets in the country, Marikina Public Market has been declared one of the cleanest, too.
Marikina residents say they love it because it's clustered into food groups, wet and dry sections, utilities and DVDs. The different sections also have covered walking streets to shade from the heat.
The market has been likened to an “un-airconditioned” grocery store because of its sanitary standards, and is closed regularly for cleaning.
Tourist fare: Manufacturing over 80 percent of the country's footwear, Marikina is the "shoe capital" of the Philippines. There's even a "Shoe Museum," featuring over 3,000 pairs of shoes, including 800 owned by former first lady Imelda Marcos (J.P. Rizal St, Barangay San Roque, Marikina City; +63 2430 9735).
Getting there: Marikina Public Market, E. De La Paz Street, Marikina City; +63 2646 1996
Shoot location: Navotas Fish Port
Over 80 percent of Manila's fish supply passes through the Navotas Fish Port. The scene: Larx hits a concrete post, and Aaron and Marta's motorcycle skids. A fisherman sees them, and they ask him for help.
The action: The oldest fishing port in the country, established in 1977, Navotas Fish Port supplies most of the country with fresh and quality fish, about 80 percent of Metro Manila’s demand.
"The Bourne Legacy" crew took over the port for a few mornings in January, replacing parts of the roof to let natural light in. They also had to scrub down the floors every day to make sure nobody slipped on fish guts.
Tourist fare: More than 20 commercial fishing vessels unload at least 800 tons of fish daily from Laguna de Bay, Zambales and Palawan, as early as 6 a.m.
Come early but bring boots as the floors can indeed get wet and slippery. Haggling or bidding for the best price is encouraged if done discreetly.
To get there, ask a taxi driver to take you to the Navotas Fish Port Complex, Navotas.
Shoot location: El Nido, Palawan
Besides "Bourne," El Nido was also a pit stop on "The Amazing Race."The scene: There's a boat, it's the end of the film. That's all we'll tell you. No spoilers here.
The action: It's “most beautiful place I’ve been to,” proclaims "Legacy" director Tony Gilroy.
Marbled cliffs, white sand beaches, limestone formations, prehistoric caves and waterfalls and crystal clear blue waters make Palawan one of the Philippine's top islands.
And if you've seen the competition, that's no petty achievement.
Tourist fare: Wildlife like kingfishers, egrets, eagles and hornbills and bountiful flora like narra trees, mangroves and coconut trees abound.
Located in the “coral triangle,” the global center of marine biodiversity, diving and snorkeling Palawan can boast colorful corals, reefs, parrotfish, clownfish, reef shark, stingrays, turtles, dolphins and the occasional whale shark.
Getting there: Several airlines fly daily from Manila to El Nido, including SEAir and Island Transvoyager.
More on CNN: The Philippines best beaches and islands
"The Bourne Legacy" is now showing in cinemas worldwide.
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Jasmine Astudillo Rosete
8/23/2012 11:30:00 PM
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Hello... good morning/afternoon po. I am your new neighbor here at this website, iluko.com. Mabalin ti sumrek ken makiinom ditoy bar/internet cafeyo, apo?
Thank you, salamat po!
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cirenia
8/30/2012 8:17:00 PM
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A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender says: "Long time since
I've seen you, man, you look terrible." The pirate says: "I feel fine."
The bartender says: "Well, you didn't have that wooden leg last time
I saw you." "Well, I got into a battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg,
but I'm ok."
"Well, you didn't have that hook on your arm either." The pirate
says: "Got in a sword fight and lost my hand."
The bartender says: "What about the eye patch?" The pirate replies:
"Well, a bunch of sea gulls flew over the boat and when I looked up one of
them shit on my eye." The bartender says: "How did that make you lose your
eye?" The pirate replies: "It was the first day with the hook."
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justine
8/31/2012 1:35:00 AM
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Lakay Flor is walking down the street when he was propositioned by Isabella, a 2-bit hooker, "Hey handsome, you want a date?"
"Sure," Lakay Flor accepted. So they went to an apartel accross the street. Lakay Flor was just staring when Isabella stripped down to her birthday suit.
"What's the matter, handsome, is this the first time you've seen pussy since you crawled out of your mother's?"
"Hell no!" replied Lakay Flor. "But it's the first time I've seen one big enough to crawl back into!"
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BORIS
9/4/2012 1:00:00 PM
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One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "One Thousand Dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $700." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!" "Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $400." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much." "Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $100." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
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otiang
9/14/2012 7:43:00 AM
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Bill Clinton and Al Gore are sitting in a diner. The waitress says, "Ready to order?" Clinton says, "Yeah. I'd like a quickie." The waitress says, "A quickie? Mr. President, I don't think that's a real good idea. I'll come back when you're ready to order from the menu." Gore leans and says, "It's pronounced "quiche."
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Sutil
9/16/2012 4:56:00 AM
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Apay awan met dagitay KAWAW ti ulo nan. bwi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
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abigail
9/18/2012 8:34:00 AM
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The phone bill was exceptionally high.. Man called a family meeting to discuss. Dad: "this is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone". Mum: "Me too. I hardly use home phone." Son: I use my office mobile I never use the home phone. All of them shocked and together look at the maid who's patiently listening to them Maid: "what? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal?
imbag man angkel Sutil ta simmangpet ka
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abigail
9/22/2012 9:01:00 AM
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Dentist: "I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes."
Patient: "How much will it cost?"
Dentist: "It's $1000."
Patient: "One thousand for just a few minutes work?"
Dentist: "I can extract it very slowly if you like."
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Leo Beligan
10/9/2012 7:57:00 PM
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Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the manager asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you've ever had."
"Well," the young man said, "in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination."
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lintik
10/15/2012 3:17:00 PM
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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor..."
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isabella
10/20/2012 12:44:00 PM
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When Baket Flora is all set to get married to the virile Lakay Flor, her mother takes her aside for a little pre-nuptial advice.
"Dear, we're sure you love Lakay Flor, and I know you're still a virgin," the mother began. "And we tried to welcome him into our family. But there is something you must know. Lakay Flor and his clan like to make love in a disgusting way, so if he ever ask you to turn over before making love, DON'T do it! It's degrading and painful, and it will ruin your marriage."
The weding goes fine. The happy couple enjoys their first month of marital bliss, when one night, Lakay Flor says to Baket Flora, "Honey, let's try making love a little differently tonight. Why don't you roll over?"
Baket Flora loses it. "You brute!" she sobs. "My mother warned me about you and your clan... how you make love in a degrading and painful manner. I can't believe you would do this to me."
"But honey," the startled Lakay Flor replies, "I just thought that maybe you might want to have children."
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justine
11/6/2012 3:19:00 AM
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Naimbag a bigatyo amin aappo, nangnangruna kada Jasmine Rosette ken Tata Ernie. Tumemplaak man ti mix drinks bareng agsubli ni Jasmine a umay makisukmon ken makidap-ay. Saan sa unayen a makapasyar ni Tata Ernie ditoy abong na ta adu ti uggorna nga appoko.
Red Headed Leg Spreader Recipe
1/4 oz jagermeister herbal liqueur
1/4 oz vodka
1/4 oz tequila
1/4 oz cranberry juice
Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes, and shake well. Strain into a shot glass and serve.
Now, let's drink to kissing...
Kiss beneath the garden gate,
Kiss beneath the rose.
The proper way to kiss a girl,
Is between the head and toes!
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Ernest Coloma
11/24/2012 5:22:00 AM
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Agpayso ta kunam Justine, dadakelen dagiti dua nga appokomi, da Ayzia ken Gerald Ernest.... Sumrekka latta Jasmine, adda inyegkko nga sang botelya a CR, adda dita sango ti Xmas Tree. Saanda nga binungonen ta pagraramanantayo nga inumen. Adda met ni Justine a para templa. No sabali ti kayatmo nga inumen, adu dita Fridge ken dita Bar. Help yourself..... ADVANCE MERRY XMAS, PADA A NANGISIT TI SIKONA...
| http://www.iluko.com/pictures/uploaded/Pic00008865.jpg |
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Ernest Coloma
11/24/2012 5:24:00 AM
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Agpayso ta kunam Justine, dadakelen dagiti dua nga appokomi, da Ayzia ken Gerald Ernest.... Sumrekka latta Jasmine, adda inyegkko nga sang botelya a CR, adda dita sango ti Xmas Tree. Saanda nga binungonen ta pagraramanantayo nga inumen. Adda met ni Justine a para templa. No sabali ti kayatmo nga inumen, adu dita Fridge ken dita Bar. Help yourself..... ADVANCE MERRY XMAS, PADA A NANGISIT TI SIKONA...
| http://www.iluko.com/pictures/uploaded/Pic00008865.jpg |
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justine
11/24/2012 9:17:00 AM
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Asideg man nga agpayson ti paskua, saan pay nga inted ni apo Mayora Tessie tay maikasangapulo ken tallo a bulan a sweldo mi. Umay ko man ngarud aramaten dagita ispirito nga taptapuken dita bar, Tata Ernie. Sigurado nga magustuan da Berting, Boris,Isabela, nangnangruna kenni Lakay Flor, napeklan a miyembo ti LGBT, daytoy a recipe.
Brief/Panty Thief Recipe
2 oz Everclear
2 oz Crown Royal
2 oz Jagermeister
6 oz 7Up
Mix all ingredients well. Serve in a High Ball glass. Enjoy!!
Here's one for Lakay Flor...
Now he lays me down to screw,
I hope this fag knows what to do.
If he should cum before I end,
I swear to God I'll blow his friend.
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Leo Beligan
12/20/2012 8:59:00 AM
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I was at the airport waiting for my plane to board one day. I was at gate number 26 when an announcement came over the broadcast system. An official sounding voice said, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but United flight 237, previously scheduled to leave from gate 26, will now be leaving from gate 48." So I picked up my things and walked to the new gate. Shortly after arriving at the new gate another announcement blasted out explaining that United flight 237 had been moved back to the original gate 26. So once again I retrieved my belongings and walked back to the original gate. Just as I began settling in another announcement was broadcast, "We would like to thank you for participating in United Airline's physical fitness program!"
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Ernie
12/20/2012 10:26:00 PM
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No kas kadatao nga agsagsagking a magna kabsat ket medio pagling-etennaka dayta a kaadayona, hehehe. Ti paglainganna ket mapabassit dagitoy buy-ong nga sar-sarunnuen nukua....Happy Holidays kabsat ken kadakayo metten a cyber sisters/brothers a masansan nga dumagdagas kadaytoy saan a maib-ibusan kadagiti agkakaimas a pulotan, dagiti agkakaingel nga mainum ken dagiti nakalam-lamiis nga softdrinks ken nagnangruna kadagiti makapakatawa/makapaellek nga iyab-ablatyo a sarsarita.....HHHooorrray to all the nangingisit ti Sikona a pada....
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Leo Beligan
12/22/2012 6:26:00 AM
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MERRY CHRISTMAS
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cirenia
1/1/2013 11:34:00 AM
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happy new year
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cirenia
1/16/2013 2:43:00 PM
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"We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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isabella
1/26/2013 7:25:00 AM
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One night, Lakay Flor passed by his son's room and heard him praying: "Lord, bless Tatang, Nanang and Lola. Goodbye Lolo."
Lakay Flor didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Lolo on the floor dead of a heart attack. Lakay Flor reassured that it was just a coinsidence, but still a little bit spooked.
A week later Lakay Flor heard his son praying again: "Lord, bless Nanang and Tatang. Goodbye Lola."
Lakay Flor was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning, they found Lola on the flor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, Lakay Flor decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "Lord, Bless Nanang. Goodbye Tatang."
Now, Lakay Flor is crapping his pants. He stayed up all night and went to the doctor early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here...we really could use your help! We found the mailman dead on our porch this morning!"
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Ernie
1/29/2013 2:12:00 PM
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Isabella, mayatman daytoy indasarmo nga storya, hehehe...... Saan gayam nga isu ti Tatangna aya? Bangbangir ngata ita ti panagkitana ket bumaket, hehehe... >:))
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Leo Beligan
3/2/2013 5:41:00 AM
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KAKAMPI MO ANG BATAS.SYNDICATED, ENGLISH AND FILIPINO. 02 MARCH 2013
After Sabah killings, what is next?
BY ATTY. BATAS MAURICIO
LIFE’S INSPIRATIONS: “… Jesus answered: `Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars… Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom’…” (Matthew 24:4-7, the Holy Bible).
-ooo-
SABAH KILLINGS: BEGINNINGS OF NEW SECESSION: So what’s next after 12 Filipinos were killed by Malaysian policemen after they dared to support the claims of the Sultanate of Sulu and North Borneo over Sabah? Will the Sultanate’s claims still be pursued by Sultan Jamalul Kiram III, or will these claims now be shelved by him? Will he and his followers who profess belonging to the Kingdom of Sulu and North Borneo want to remain Filipinos, after being left to themselves by the Philippine government?
Will the Aquino government now be happy that the standoff, precipitated by the arrival in Lahad Datu, Sabah, Malaysia of some 200 or so followers of Sultan Kiram on February 09, 2013, has ended, with the Filipinos merely wanting to reclaim what they own being killed mercilessly?
Will peace now finally reign in Mindanao, or, we have just witnessed the beginnings of a new secession conflict in Southern Philippines that will involve on the one hand the followers and sympathizers of the Sultanate of Sulu and North Borneo wanting to be on their own now, and the military forces of the government of the Republic on the other, perhaps aided by other armed groups that have received favor from current officials of government?
-ooo-
SENTIMENTS OF SULTAN KIRAM AND HIS FOLLOWERS: Some of my friends who are close to Sultan Kiram are telling me that the prevailing sentiment among his followers and supporters and among many Sulu residents after 12 of them were killed during the firefight on Friday, March 01, 2013, and after the Sultan’s brother was arrested by Malaysian police, is this: the Aquino government abandoned them and virtually discarded them as citizens of the Republic.
That being the case, my friends are telling me, Sultan Kiram and his people are thinking that they cannot be faulted if they are now seriously studying discarding their Filipino citizenship as well, since they never got any help, support, or even just a hint of fair treatment over their claim that Sabah is owned by the Sultanate of Sulu and North Borneo, and that, all throughout their ordeal, the Sultan and his followers were treated as foreigners not entitled to their government’s protection.
The sentiment in Sulu, I am told, is that, the Philippines was more interested in protecting Malaysia’s interests and perspectives on the Sabah issue, even as its officials, almost to a man, went on a crazy binge, accusing them of crimes and other lawless acts with threats of arrest and imprisonment fit only for hardened criminals, even if what they merely wanted was to claim what is historically known to be the Sultanate’s dominion and property.
-ooo-
WHAT IS NEXT? So what is going to happen next? It is anybody’s guess, of course, but whatever it is, I am sure it is not going to establish peace in Mindanao. Rather, as evidenced now by the sentiments of the Kiram family being quoted by their close friends, the spectre of more troubles, problems and even armed confrontation is once again being raised in the horizon.
I hope this is not going to happen, because any such trouble, problem or armed confrontation happening in Mindanao is going to affect the entire country, domestically and internationally, and this is certainly frightening in the light of the on-going developments in the South China Sea (or the West Philippine Sea).
We can only pray now for God’s powerful right hand to intervene once more, so that peace will continue to reign in our country and among our people, whether they are Christians, Muslims or of other spiritual groupings. At the rate things are going, we are headed towards more wars, with Filipinos fighting and killing other Filipinos. Really, may God have mercy on us all!!!
-ooo-
REACTIONS? Please call me at 0917 984 24 68, 0918 574 0193, 0922 833 43 96. Email: batasmauricio@yahoo.com, mmauriciojr111@gmail.com.
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abigail
3/30/2013 12:01:00 AM
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Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement. "Yeah," said Rob, "would you marry someone who didnt know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?" "No way in hell" said the bartender. "Well, said Rob, "neither would my fiance."
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justine
4/12/2013 5:47:00 PM
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Umayak man maki-inom ditoy balay ni Manong Ernie ta kayat ko nga usaren ti internet. I want to describe Lakay Flor and Berting's asses or somebody else's over the Internet but I want it to be visual. Well, how about some 'assicons?' Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(___)(___) a 'wide load' ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_*_} a swishy ass
(_o_) like Berting's, an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_?_) a dumb ass
(_jack_) a jackass
(_0_) a prison ass
(_) half ass
(_!__) lop sided ass
(_:_) two holed ass
(_O_) like Lakay Flor's, cavernous, an ass that's REALLY been around.
(Mom!__) a tattooed ass
(_)ll(_) a fucked ass
()() ass print on a window
(*!*) ass with dimples
(_X X_) a kicked ass
(_%_) an average ass
(_$_) a rich ass
[_!_] a hard ass
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abigail
5/9/2013 8:19:00 AM
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A pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a lot TV, asks, just to make conversation. "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?" "A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation. "Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?" "Well, said Johnny, "I do not know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."
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justine
5/10/2013 5:59:00 PM
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Bartek 1: Pre, nabartekkan, ditoy ka la balayen a makiturog.
Bartek 2: Lukdit mo pare, sika ti nabartek, balay mi daytoy.
Bartek 1: Saan ka la a nabartek, agbagtit ka payen. Hala, inta agtoktok tapno maammuam a balay mi daytoy.
Nagtoktok da ngarud ket maysa a baket ti nanglukat ti ridaw.
Bartek 1: Darleeeng...ibagam man kadatoy kaduak a nabartek a adda isuna ditoy balay tayo.
Bartek 2: Nanang...pudno kadi ti ibagbaga daytoy bagtit a lalaki?
Baket: Nabartek kay man a agama'n. Punyeta! Lakay Flor ken Junior, sumbrek kay ketdin ta di kay to ket mabarangay manen!
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Leo Beligan
5/16/2013 8:41:00 PM
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Candice Glover is the new "American Idol" winner. The 23-year-old beat out Kree Harrison to take the "American Idol" crown for Season 12.
Glover is the first female winner since Jordin Sparks won "American Idol" Season 6. Third time's the charm it seems, this season was the third time Glover tried out for "American Idol."
Glover's vocals brought the judges to their feet and to tears over the course of Season 12. At one point, judge Mariah Carey glitter bombed the contestant.
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Kurdapio
5/17/2013 3:07:00 AM
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Forget "American Idol"! Nobody can top the girl with the golden voice and, as Oprah says, the most talented girl in the world - our own Filipino singer Charice!!!
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lintik
5/17/2013 8:17:00 AM
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Chronology of the Marcos Plunder, Asian Journal
search.jpgsearch.jpg
Chronology of the Marcos Plunder, Asian Journal
September 1976 - The Marcoses bought their first property in the U.S. - a condo
in the exclusive Olympic Towers on Fifth Avenue in New York . Five months
later they would also buy the three adjoining apartments, paying a total
of $4,000,000.00 for the four and using Antonio Floirendo’s company,
The Aventures Limited in Hong Kong, as front for these purchases.
October 13, 1977 - Today, after addressing the UN General Assembly, Imelda
celebrated by going shopping and spending $384,000 including $50,000 for
a platinum bracelet with rubies; $50,000 for a diamond bracelet; and
$58,000 for a pin set with diamonds.
The day before, Vilma Bautista, one of her private secretaries, paid $18,500 for
a gold pendant with diamonds and emeralds; $9,450 for a gold ring with
diamonds and emeralds; and $4,800 for a gold and diamond necklace.
October 27, 1977 - The Marcoses donated $1,500,000.00 to Tufts University in Boston,
endowing a professorial chair in East Asian and Pacific Studies at the Fletcher School
of Law and Diplomacy. The students and professors discovered this and forced the
school to reject the donation. To save face, the Marcoses were allowed to finance
several seminars and lectures.
November 2, 1977 - Still at her shopping spree, Imelda paid $450,000 for a gold
necklace and bracelet with emeralds, rubies, and diamonds; $300,000 for a
gold ring with emeralds and diamonds; and $300,000 for a gold pendant
with diamonds, rubies, and thirty-nine emeralds.
July 1978 - After a trip to Russia, Imelda arrived in New York and
immediately warmed up for a shopping spree. She started with paying
$193,320 for antiques, including $12,000 for a Ming Period side table;
$24,000 for a pair of Georgian mahogany Gainsborough armchairs; $6,240
for a Sheraton double-sided writing desk; $11,600 for a George II wood
side table with marble top - all in the name of the Philippine consulate
to dodge New York sales tax.
That was merely for starters.
A week later, Imelda spent $2,181,000.00 in one day! This included $1,150,000.00
for a platinum and emerald bracelet with diamonds from Bulgari;
$330,000 for a necklace with a ruby, diamonds, and emeralds; $300,000
for a ring with heart-shaped emeralds; $78,000 for 18-carat gold ear
clips with diamonds; $300,000 for a pendant with canary diamonds, rubies
and emeralds on a gold chain.
After New York, she dropped by Hong Kong where a Cartier representative
admitted it was this Filipina, Imelda, who had put together the world’s largest
collection of gems - in 1978.
May 1979 - The Marcos couple celebrated their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary
in a party that cost $5,000,000.00 There was a silver carriage drawn by eight
white horses.
November 23, 1978 - A house was purchased at 4 Capshire Drive in Cherry Hill ,
New Jersey (actually near to Philadelphia where Bongbong was taking courses at
that time) for use by servants and Bongbong’s security detachment. The Marcoses
did not neglect their annual real estate purchase.
1979 - Marcoses purchased two properties - one at 3850 Princeton Pike,
Princeton - a 13-acre estate for use by daughter Imee as she attended
Princeton. The other was a house at 19 Pendleton Drive in Cherry Hill for use of Bongbong
and under the name of Tristan Beplat, erstwhile head of the American Chamber of
Commerce in the Philippines .
April 1979 - in two days in New York this month, Imelda spent $280,000
for a necklace wet with emeralds and diamonds; $18,500 for a yellow gold
evening bag with one round cut diamond; $8,975.20 for 20-carat gold ear
clips with twenty-four baguette diamonds; $8,438.10 for 18-carat gold ear
clips with fifty-two tapered baguette diamonds; and $12,056.50 for 20 carat
gold ear clips with diamonds.
June 1980 - For $1,577,000.00 in New York Imelda buys Webster Hotel on West
45th Street . She rewards Gen. Romeo Gatan as a limited partner. Gatan arrested
Ninoy at the beginning of Martial Law.
[ The insurgents’ ranks grew by twenty percent a year. Meritorious officers
in the armed forces experienced low moral due to Marcos’ penchant for
promoting friends over more deserving officers. ]
February 16, 1986 - In records of monies paid out during Marcos’ last
campaign, one unusually large item was authorized by “FL” (First Lady)
and paid to Assemblyman Arturo Pacificador on this day. A few days
later, two carloads of men drove into San Jose , the provincial capital of
Antique.
Evelio Javier, head of Aquino’s campaign, was watching the votes being counted
when the men opened fire and killed Evelio after he was still able to run through
town but finally got cornered in a public toilet where he was gunned down in front
of shocked townspeople. Pacificador was later convicted of the murder.
February 25, 1986 - Marcos fled the Philippines leaving behind a foreign debt of
$27 Billion and a bureaucracy gone mad. “Cash advances” for the elections from the
national treasury amounted to Php 3.12 billion ($150 Million). The Central Bank
printed millions of peso bills, many with the same serial number. Sixty Million pesos
in newly printed bills were found in a vehicle owned by Imelda’s brother Bejo in the
Port Area of Manila, and another Php 100 Million aboard the MV Legaspi also
owned by Bejo Romualdez.
How massive and humongous a loot Marcos took can be deduced from the known
losses he left behind. The known losses he left at the Central Bank included $1.2
Billion in missing reserves and $6 Billion in the Special Accounts.
Imelda charged off most of her spending sprees to the PNB or Philippine National Bank
which creatively wrote off her debts as “unresponded transfers”.
Ver also used PNB funds to finance his “intelligence” operations.
The known losses at the PNB amounted to Php72.1 Billion.
At the DBP, the losses Marcos left behind totaled Php85 Billion;
at the Philguarantee, it was Php 6.2 Billion ;
and at the NIDC or National Investment and Development Corporation (NDC) -
the losses amounted to Php 2.8 Billion.
[ These losses were primarily due to cronyism - giving loans to cronies that
had little or no collateral, whose corporations were undercapitalized,
whose loan proceeds were not used for the avowed purpose, and where the
practice of corporate layering was common, i.e. using two or more
companies with the same incorporators and officers, whereby one company
which gives the loan owns the company which obtains the loan, or similar
arrangements. ]
The cronies enjoyed their closeness to Marcos. With him they formed a Grand Coalition.
They participated in the exercise of dictatorship. But Marcos owned them. The wealth of
the cronies belonged to him. Because of the free rides taken by Imelda, Marcos and the
cronies, the Philippine Airlines was in debt by $13.8 Billion.
The conservative Grand Total for losses Marcos left behind (and therefore the kind of loot
he grabbed and hid) amounted to $17.1 Billion. The Central Bank, the PNB, and other
financial institutions badly need an audit. The special review (not regular audit because
there seems not to have been any - there are no records anyway) did not uncover Imelda’s
spending - her name never appeared - and Ver’s intelligence fund. The review gave no hint
of theft or missing money, only “downward adjustments” and “proposed adjustments” to
“deficiencies” and “shortages of money”.
February 26, 1986 - A few hours after the Marcos party landed in Honolulu, their luggage
arrived - 300 crates on board a C-141 cargo jet. It took twenty-five customs officers
five hours to tag the bags and identify the contents. The process was videotaped because
of all the money and jewelry found inside.
There were 278 crates of jewelry and art worth an estimated $5 Million. Twenty-two
crates contained more than Php27.7 Million in newly minted currency, mostly hundred-peso
denominations worth approximately $1,270,000.00. (It was illegal at that time for anyone
to depart the Philippines carrying more than Php500 in cash.)
There were other certificates of deposit from Philippine banks worth about $1 million,
five handguns, 154 videotapes, seventeen cassette tapes, and 2,068 pages of documents -
all of which were impounded by Customs.
The Marcos party was allowed to keep only $300,000.00 in gold and $150,000.00
in bearer bonds that they brought in with their personal luggage because they declared them
and broke no US customs laws.
There were 24 one-kilo gold bars fitted into 20 (twenty) $17,000 hand-tooled Gucci briefcase with a
solid gold buckle and a plaque on it that read, “To Ferdinand Marcos, from Imelda, on the
Occasion of our 24th Wedding Anniversary.”
February 1986 - When Marcos departed the Philippines, the losses in the three Central Bank
accounts surpassed Php 122 billion (more than $6 Billion). The big bulk of losses was attributed
to the RIR account mainly due to two items: forward cover and swap contracts.
"Forward Cover" referred to foreign exchange provided by the CB at a fixed exchange rate
to importers of essential commodities. "Swap contracts" referred to CB’s receiving foreign
exchange from banks in exchange for pesos at the prevailing rate with a promise to deliver
the foreign exchange back to them at an agreed future date.
There was no mention of losses due to CB transactions in gold or foreign exchange.
February 28, 1986 - On this day, Jim Burke, security expert from the US Embassy,
was tapping on the wooden paneling in Imelda’s abandoned Malacanang bedroom
when he heard a hollow sound. It was the walk-in vault. Inside were thirty-five suitcases
secured with locks and tape.
They contained a treasure trove of documents about Swiss bank accounts, New York real estate,
foundations in Vaduz, and some notepaper on which Marcos had practiced his William Saunders
signature. They also contained jewelry valued at some $10.5 Million.
March 16, 1986 - Did Marcos steal any gold from the CB? The CB always refused to comment.
Why?
Today, the LA Times reported that 6.325 metric tons of gold was unaccounted for in the
Central Bank. Between 1978, the year Marcos ordered all gold producers to sell only to
the CB, and end 1984, the Bureau of Mines reported that 124,234 pounds of gold were
refined. But the CB reported receiving only 110,319 pounds during this same period.
That left a difference of 13,915 pounds (6.325 metric tons) of gold.
March 1986 - Jokingly referring to themselves as the Office of National Revenge,
a vigilante team led by Charlie Avila and Linggoy Alcuaz received a tip in the
morning that Marcos’ daughter Imee had kept a private office in the suburb of
Mandaluyong at 82 Edsa. They obtained a search warrant, then rushed to Camp
Crame to pick up some soldiers.
After devising a plan, they boarded four cars and drove to the premises,
arriving around midnight. The soldiers scaled a fence and sealed off the
area. Avila , Alcuaz, and their men moved in and found documents in
cardboard boxes, desks, and filing cabinets. Gunfire could be heard
outside but it didn’t deter the search.
The documents revealed the names of offshore companies and overseas
investments of Marcos and his cronies - a late link in the paper trail
that had been started abroad by the teams of Avila, Steve Psinakis,
Sonny Alvarez, Raul Daza, Boni Gillego, and Raul Manglapus.
March 09, 1986. A Greek-American, Demetrios Roumeliotes, was stopped at
the Manila International Airport before he could leave with eight large envelopes
stuffed with jewelry that he admitted belonged to Imelda - valued at $4.7 Million.
March 15, 1986 - Ernie Maceda, Minister of Natural Resources, revealed today
that some 7 to 14 tons of Philippine gold are sold to the Binondo Central Bank
annually and then smuggled to Sabah, Malaysia - this gold being part of some
20 tons produced by 200,000 panners all over the country. Maceda’s query
was whether part of the gold they produced was siphoned to the “invisible gold
hoard of Ms. Imelda R. Marcos.”
“We deliver to the Central Bank,” the miners said. “If it happened (the siphoning),
it happened in the Central Bank.”
[ Is it true that Marcos propagated the Yamashita myth to hide the fact that he looted
the Central Bank, that its gold bars were melted down and recast in odd-size bars to
make them look old (how does gold look old, anyway?)? Marcos claimed that he
“received the surrender of Gen. Yamashita” after a battle with his guerrilla outfit. ]
History has recorded that Yamashita surrendered to Lt. Co. Aubrey Smith Kenworthy
and that there was no battle. Yamashita’s peaceful surrender had been arranged at least
two weeks before the event.
In one entry in Marcos’ diary he noted, “I often wonder what I will be remembered for
in history. Scholar? Military hero…?” In a supreme irony, he did achieve what he so
vainly sought - lasting fame - but not in the way he envisioned:
The largest human rights case in history - 10,000 victims.
Guinness Book of Records - the world’s greatest thief.
The largest monetary award in history - $22 billion.
September 30, 1986 - Questioned by Philippine and US lawyers about his hidden wealth,
Marcos took the Fifth Amendment 197 times. Imelda followed suit - 200 times.
December 1989 - An American jury found the Marcos estate liable for $15 million in
the killing of anti-Marcos activists Gene Viernes and Silme Domingo. Manglapus,
Psinakis, Gillego and other erstwhile exile oppositionists testified at the trial.
November 04, 1991 - Today, a Sunday, the circus came to town. The Swiss Federal
Tribunal had ruled the year before that the Philippine government must comply with
the European Convention of Human Rights, especially due process. There had to be
a lawsuit filed within one year. Thus, the solicitor general’s office filed all sorts of cases
against Imelda and the government had to allow her to return to answer the charges.
“I come home penniless,” Imelda tearfully said on arrival. She then repaired to her suite
at the Philippine Plaza Hotel which cost $2,000 a day and rented sixty rooms for her
entourage - American lawyers, American security guards and American PR firms.
December 1991 - The Central Bank had accumulated losses of Php324 Billion in the
Special Accounts.
November 30, 1992 - The Central Bank losses were Php561 Billion and climbing.
Cuisia asked that the CB be restructured. Sen. Romulo asked to see the 1983 audit
of the international reserves. He couldn’t get a copy. It was “restricted” .
January 05, 1993. Imelda didn’t show up for the scheduled signing of a new PCGG
agreement. She kept vacillating on the terms and conditions - demanding she be allowed
to travel abroad for thirty-three days to confer with bank officials in Switzerland, Austria,
Hong Kong and Morocco to work out the transfer of the frozen funds.
Actually she was hoping a guy she had authorized, J.T.Calderon, would be able to move
the funds just as the order was lifted, before the government had a chance to transfer them
to Manila . When the government discovered the authority, all negotiations with Imelda
were halted and her requests for travel suspended.
August 10, 1993 - Georges Philippe, a Swiss lawyer of Imelda, wrote today a confidential
letter to the Marcoses’ old Swiss lawyer, Bruno de Preux, who handled almost all of the
Marcos family’s hidden accounts in Switzerland . Philippe requested de Preux for the status
of:
A $750 million account with United Mizrahi Bank in Zurich ;
Various currency and gold deposits at the Union Bank of Switzerland , at Kloten airport
and at Credit Suisse;
A $356 million account (now in escrow and worth almost $600 million) which was being
claimed by the PCGG.
In 1994 - The human rights jury awarded the victims $1.2 billion in exemplary damages,
then $766.4 million in compensatory damages a year after that, for a total of $1.964 billion.
Two days after, another $7.3 million was awarded to twenty-one Filipinos in a separate lawsuit.
In 1995 - the US Supreme Court upheld the $1.2 billion judgment.
March 29, 1995 - The Swiss Parliament passed a law (an amendment to a previous act)
that removed the need for a final judgment of criminal conviction of the accused (such as
the Marcoses) in the case of criminally acquired assets which could now therefore be
returned to claimants (such as the Philippine government) by Swiss court order.
July 1996 - In part because of the torture of Roger Roxas, $22 billion was awarded to his
Golden Budha Corporation.
December 10, 1997 - The Swiss Supreme Court promulgated a landmark decision that
took into account the March 1995 Swiss Parliament act and the fact that new criminal
cases had been filed against Imelda Marcos.
The court held that there was no need for any criminal proceeding; that a civil or
administrative proceeding would suffice, and the Marcos Swiss deposits which
had been “criminally acquired” can be returned to the Philippines in deference to
the final judgment of the Philippine court as to the ownership of these deposits.
The Swiss court also announced that the interest and reputation of Switzerland was
at stake if it would become a haven for money launderers laundering money obtained
by crime. Therefore, in the case of the Marcos deposits, because “the illegal source
of the assets in this case cannot be doubted” the Swiss court ordered that the money
be returned to the Philippines to be held in escrow account in the PNB to await the
\judgment of the Sandiganbayan in the forfeiture case.
By the way, in January 17, 1975, a secret decree not made public until after the Edsa
insurrection was signed by Marcos stating that in the event he became incapacitated or
died, power would be turned over to Imelda.
On June 7, 1975 - In his own handwriting, Marcos amended the January 17th decree
and clarified imelda’s role as chairperson of committee with presidential powers.
In February 1979, Imelda was named chairman of the cabinet committee, composed of
all ministries, to launch the BLISS (Bagong Lipunan Sites and Services) program, an
ambitious attempt to centralize control of all economic and social development. She
assumed responsibility for the “11 needs of Man” codified in her ministry’s multi-year
Human Settlements Plan,1978-2000.
By 1986, the number of Filipinos living below the poverty line doubled from 18 million
in 1965 to 35 million. And the ecological balance of the country had degraded from 75 %
to 27% forest cover remaining - with 39 million acres of forest falling victim to rampant
logging. This was BLISS.
She was also the head of the Metro Manila Commission, which by year-end 1985
had managed to accumulate debts of Php 1.99 Billion (which included $100 million
in foreign loans) in its ten years of existence.
Imelda had accomplished nothing and
left the people embittered and even more disillusioned.
September 1992 - Marcos was found guilty of violating the human rights of 10,000
victims. The ruling occurred just after a judge found Imee Marcos-Manotoc guilty of the
torture and murder of Archimedes Trajano, a 21 year old engineering student at Mapua
who had the temerity to ask Imee after a speech she gave whether the Kabataang Barangay
(a national youth group) “must be headed by the president’s daughter?”
Imee and brother Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos, Jr. have been active in the political scene.
Bongbong, who finished 3 terms as Ilocos Norte governor, is now running for Senator under
Presidential bet, Manny Villar’s senatorial slate.. he’s been quoted as saying that if given a
chance, he’d like to run for President one day...(gads) .
Bongbong is now a Senator, ...
Imelda is Governor of Ilocos Norte, ...
and Imee is in Congress.
The MARCOSES are back in full force ….
thanks to our “despicable amnesia” as aptly described
by the eminent writer, F. Sionil Jose.
PLEASE PASS THIS IMPORTANT PART OF PHIL HISTORY TO YOUR FRIENDS,
SO WE WILL NOT FORGET...
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Sumungbat
Ag-Loginka pay nga umuna Kailian sakbay nga agposteka.
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